David Vs The Three Goliaths

The modern tech hiring process in a nutshell. Companies expect you to perform like a circus animal through endless assessments and interviews, then act shocked when talent goes elsewhere. Nothing triggers HR quite like a candidate who values their time and knows their worth. That blood-curdling scream is the sound of recruiters realizing they can't torture candidates with their six-week interview process anymore. Remember kids: companies that respect you from the start are usually the ones worth working for. The rest just want to see how much abuse you'll tolerate before you're even hired.

Running from the AI hype tribe like Jack Sparrow fleeing cannibals. Every standup these days: "We should integrate ChatGPT into our workflow!" Meanwhile, you're just trying to write clean code without buzzword-driven development consuming your sprint. The real treasure isn't some half-baked AI integration—it's maintainable code that won't summon future developers to hunt you down with pitchforks. Resistance isn't futile, it's sanity preservation.

Product Manager: "I want developers to lower me into my grave so they can LET ME DOWN one last time." Developer: "At least this requirement is clear." QA Engineer: "But is it though? With coffin or without? Which developers? What's the timeline? Need acceptance criteria for 'lowering'. Please clarify the definition of 'grave'. What's our fallback plan if developers are unavailable? Have we considered edge cases like zombie apocalypse?" The eternal dev cycle: PM makes vague request → Dev thinks they understand → QA finds 47 ambiguities that nobody considered. Rinse and repeat until retirement... or funeral.

The eternal paradox of software development: pushing bugs to future-you who's literally on vacation. It's that special kind of self-sabotage where you convince yourself that Friday-afternoon-you is making a brilliant decision by postponing that critical fix, completely forgetting that Monday-morning-you will be sipping margaritas on a beach somewhere. The git commit message should just read feat: added problem for nobody to solve .

The cosmic horror of being assigned as a code reviewer for a 208-file pull request with +114,948 lines added and -1,130 lines removed. The giant, menacing figure represents the monstrous PR towering over the poor developer who's been summoned to review this abomination. That's not a codebase change—that's a whole new dimension of pain being introduced into your repository! The "And It Is Only Monday" title perfectly captures that sinking feeling when your week starts with what can only be described as a code war crime. Whoever submitted this PR clearly doesn't believe in atomic commits or the concept of human mercy.

Ah, the classic developer-manager communication gap! The top panel shows what the manager sees: a simple "Yes" to their question about task completion. Meanwhile, the bottom panel reveals the developer's full message that got cut off: "Yesterday found a new bug, fixing it." It's that magical moment when your manager's perception of reality exists in a parallel universe where tasks are either "done" or "not done" with no middle ground. Meanwhile, you're living in the real world where finishing one task just uncovers seventeen new problems nobody knew existed. The scroll of truth is too long for management's field of vision. A metaphor for life itself.