He Found You

Nothing destroys your financial stability quite like AWS charging you by the millisecond for that cursor blinking on your EC2 instance. One minute you're debugging, the next you're selling your kidney on the black market because you forgot to terminate that "unlimited" resource. The cloud doesn't rain money—it vacuums it directly from your bank account. Next time just stick to Notepad++ like a reasonable poverty-avoiding human.

Content MANAGER: SO THERE WAS 3 BUGS BEFORE YOU STARTED AND 4 AFTER YOU FIXED ONE OF THEM It's an oversimplification of events, but, yes. imaflip.com

Content IF THE WORLD WAS CREATED BY A PROGRAMMER IN THe BEGINNING, THERE WAS ThE hEaven AND THE EARTH BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION BY toggl AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS NOT GOOD THEN YOU SAID "LET THERE BE LIGHT! BUT ThE LIGHT Did NOT COMPILE. On THE SECOND DAY YOU MERGE WATER YOU CREATE HACK SO THAT LIGHT IS PART OF THE LAND TO CREATE DARKNESS, YOU NEED TO HIDE THE LAND, BUt That's OK CAUSE CREATURES WONT BE ADDED UNTIL LATER. AND STACKOVERFLOW SAID IT'S FINE Wherev BUT BECAUSE OF ThE DEPENDEncY, LIGHT BREAKS AS LAND IS ACCIDENTALLY CLOODED YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW (IN THE DARKNESS) IT'S ThE THIRD DAY. YOU TRY TO ADD CREATURES YOU ADD THEM IN THE TURNS OUT the CREATURES IN THE DARKNESS, BUT BROWSER USINg COoKIES, NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER, THERE'S NO LAND WITHOUT we Tart UNFORTUNATELY MAKES THEM MORTAL BuT The CLienT FOrGoT to LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE MENTION THAT WATER IT's THE FOuRTH DAY. YOU DECIDE TO USE C YOU ALSO USE ST TURNS OUT THE ISSUES TO CREATE A BALLOON FOR ABSTrACTIONS,AND THAT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT WERE CAUSED BY THE WITH FLAT EARTH DESIGN COMPLICATIONS WHATSOEVER! IT'S THE FIFtH DaY YOU START ADDING PeOPLE TO HELP YOU ON THE SIXTH DAY YoU LOOK AT THe CHAOS YOU CREATED ON THE SEVENTH DAY YOU REALLY WANT TO REST BUT YoU NEED To ORGANISE ALL YoU'VE CREATED DANGLING POINTE YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEM IN YOUR LIKENESS, WHICH IS A MISTAKE REACT THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES FUCKIT.JS) SQUERI YOU ATTEMPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE PROGRAMMING, BUT IT IS TOO LATE- EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES. DAVTIMEAIR.JS HORMONE SEA.JS REALISTIC.WAVES.JS BETTERBANKS.JS BASE.JS GIRAFFE.JS SUNDE MONGODB TOGGL.COM MART VIRKUS '17

Content OH My! A BOG! HaMM IT SEEns TO 3 E STOCk OH GODI WHAT DON (E?

The eternal existential crisis of every developer. You stare at a bug for three hours, questioning your entire career choice, only to realize you missed a semicolon. Then five minutes later, you're convinced you're a genius who should be running Google. Rinse and repeat until retirement or mental breakdown, whichever comes first.

Content Chris Albon chrisalbon Software engineering pro-tip: Follow Do not, I repeat, do not deploy this week. That is how you end up debugging a critical issue from your parent's wifi in your old bedroom while your spouse hates you for abandoning them with your racist uncle. 8:49 PM - 19 Dec 2017 11,775 Retweets 23,488 Likes 254 17 12K 23K Sat