The Uncalled Function Mystery

Content Interviewer: it says here you're extremely fast at maths, what's 3017? quantum computer: 47 Interviewer: that's not even close Me: yeah but it was quick

Oh, the SACRED RITUAL of game performance discussions! 🙄 You bring forth your meticulously collected data, benchmarks, and frame rate analyses showing a game is an optimization DISASTER... only to be SMITED by the almighty "works on my machine" defense! Because clearly, your exhaustive technical evidence is no match for Brad's magical gaming rig that can apparently run Cyberpunk on a toaster. The gaming community's version of putting fingers in ears and screaming "LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Truly the digital equivalent of bringing science to a feelings fight. ✨

Content EMPLOYERS THF AUS COMPATIBLE BUT OLD CODE NEW BUT BUGGY CODE

First panel: AI reaching for a beautiful painting on the wall, representing our dreams of intelligent systems creating magnificent art. Second panel: Reality hits with a wall of if(){} statements. That's right folks, behind the curtain of every "AI" product your CEO is hyping up is just a glorified chain of conditional logic some poor dev had to write at 1 AM while questioning their career choices. Seven years of computer science education to write if(user_says_hello) return "Hello there!" but with better variable names.

The eternal paradox of our craft in one perfect sign. Spent six years getting a CS degree just to stare at code that worked yesterday but doesn't today because Mercury is in retrograde or something. The best part? That magical moment when you remove a line of code to see if it breaks things, it doesn't, but you're too afraid to delete it permanently because the programming gods are fickle and vengeful. The only field where impostor syndrome is actually the correct diagnosis.

Content the face when you fix a bug and the whole program breaks