Drop Your GitHub Wrapped

Content How Programmers are portrayed in movies: white male conspicuously nerdy everything he codes works on the first try fast typist, types extra fast in programming emergencies never Googles error messages, in fact there are no error messages

BEHOLD! The eternal tragedy of every developer's existence! During daylight hours, my brain functions like a dusty old Pentium processor from the 90s—barely capable of adding two numbers without smoke pouring out of my ears. But the SECOND the clock strikes midnight? BOOM! Suddenly I'm rocking a Core i7 at 4.20GHz, solving problems that would make Einstein weep with joy! Why, WHY must my cognitive superpowers activate precisely when I should be unconscious?! The universe is CLEARLY plotting against my sleep schedule and sanity. Thanks for NOTHING, circadian rhythm!

Content DON'T BE A DICK PUBLIC LICENSE Version 1, December 2009 Copyright (C) 2009 Philip Sturgeon emailphilsturgeon.co.uk Everyone is permitted to copy and distribute verbatim or modified copies of this license document, and changing it is allowed as long as the name is changed. DON'T BE A DICK PUBLIC LICENSE TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR COPYING, DISTRIBUTION AND MODIFICATION 1. Do whatever you like with the original work, just don't be a dick. Being a dick includes - but is not limited to - the following instances: 1a. Outright copyright infringement - Don't just copy this and change the name. 1b. Selling the unmodified original with no work done what-so-ever, that's REALLY being a dick. 1c. Modifying the original work to contain hidden harmful content. That would make you a PROPER dick. 2. If you become rich through modifications, related worksservices, or supporting the original work, share the love. Only a dick would make loads off this work and not buy the original works creators) a pint. 3. Code is provided with no warranty. Using somebody else's code and bitching when it goes wrong makes you a DONKEY dick. Fix the problem yourself. A non-dick would submit the fix back.

The semicolon - utterly insignificant in English class but the holy grail of syntax in programming. While your English teacher casually dismisses it, CS students are having existential crises over missing semicolons that break entire codebases. Nothing quite matches the sheer panic of debugging for hours only to discover you forgot a single semicolon on line 347. The compiler doesn't care about your feelings; it just wants its precious punctuation.

The AUDACITY of those four little words: "It should work now." 💀 The universal battle cry of a programmer who's spent 6 hours changing ONE SINGLE CHARACTER in their code and is now DESPERATELY praying to the coding gods that this time—THIS TIME—they've fixed the bug that's been haunting their dreams! Meanwhile, everyone knows those words are basically a summoning ritual for 17 new bugs to magically appear. It's the programming equivalent of saying "what could possibly go wrong?" right before EVERYTHING goes catastrophically wrong!

Ah, the classic time paradox of debugging! When your friend points out you've been working on a bug fix "since 5pm" but it's only 4pm, they've unwittingly stumbled upon one of programming's greatest secrets: debugger time dilation . That thousand-yard stare says it all—you've been so deep in the debugging rabbit hole that you've not only lost track of time, you've somehow traveled to a future where you've already spent an hour fixing it. The real horror? That Friday deploy is still happening regardless of which timeline you're in!