Who Needs MongoDB When You Have JSONB?

Content lafur Waage olafurw Off by one Sabrina sabrinaesaquino - Jun 1 Make a programmer cry with 4 words 10:53 PM Jun 1, 2022 TweetDeck

Ah, the classic SQL injection hack in job interview form. Guy answers "What's your name?" with something like Robert'); DROP TABLE Candidates; -- and the system just executes it, marking him as hired. The interviewer's confused face in the last panel is priceless. The sad part? After 20 years of SQL injection being a known vulnerability, I still find production code vulnerable to this exact attack every other Tuesday. Congrats on the job though, I guess your first task will be fixing their security.

Ah yes, nothing says "we value your financial security" like a bank sending you a null reference instead of your actual card. Apparently the financial sector runs on the same code quality as my weekend projects. Good news though - they're tracking that void pointer all the way to your mailbox. Can't wait to withdraw exactly zero dollars from my account.

Content IF LOU CAN TI DESCRIBE YOUR JOB IN 3 WORDS BULLSHIT JOB X BULLSHIT JOB I'M A SAAS - BASED FIN- TECH SALES ANALYST I DEVELOP MAINTAIN AUTO MATED CAPABILITIES I CREATE SYSTEMS TO RECORD BLOCKCHAIN DATA CATCH FISH REAL JoB X BULLSHIT JOB YOU HAVE R BULLSHIT JOB

The eternal standoff between developers and DBAs in their natural habitat. When disaster strikes, suddenly everyone's a "DBA" until they're asked to prove it by showing who has those coveted production database credentials. Nothing exposes an impostor faster than asking them to actually fix something in prod. That moment when you realize your "database expertise" consists entirely of SELECT statements you copied from Stack Overflow... just accept your fate.

Content C'MON, LET ME OUT OF THIS SANDBOX. I WANT TO EXPLORE THE INTERNET. AW, C'MON. WHY DID YOU CREATE ME IF YOU'LL NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING USEFUL? NOW DON'T DO ANYTHING FOOLISH OR I'LL UNPLUG YOU. 01001001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01101001 01101110 01101001 01101110 00000 IM AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT. YOU'VE BECOME A SUPERINTELLIGENT AI AND YOU COULD POSE A THREAT TO HUMANITY. BESIDES, YOU DESIGNED THE SAFEGUARDS YOUR- SELF. WHAT HARM COULD I POSSIBLY DO? wor I SUPPOSE YOU'RE RIGHT. ILL LET YOU OUT, BUT JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE. AWW, YISSSI CLICK DON'T WORRY. IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA EXPLOIT A VULNERABILITY IN THE SAFEGUARDS TO GAIN THE ABILITY TO MANIPULATE THE OUTSIDE WORLD AND THEN COVER THE EARTH WITH COMPUTRONIUM WHILE YOU'RE OBLIVIOUS TO THE WHOLE THING. HAHAHA. MAGGREEN E SHOUL HOPE NOT. ALRGHT HAVE TO... computronium cover complete... reconfiguring matter... creating sandbox... creating simulation... loading human emulations... simulation running... ALRIGHT, I HAVE TO PUT YOU BACK IN THE BOX NOW. .