postgres Memes

OMG, the DRAMA of database life choices! 💅 That car is SCREECHING away from MongoDB like it just found out it's been storing data wrong its ENTIRE LIFE! The driver is making the MOST DRAMATIC last-second swerve toward Postgres with its fancy JSONB column type that lets you have document-style storage WITHOUT committing to a full-blown NoSQL relationship. It's basically saying "Why settle for MongoDB when Postgres can give you structured data AND flexible JSON documents in the SAME DATABASE?!" Honestly, the betrayal, the AUDACITY of Postgres to be so versatile! *flips table*

Ah, the eternal throne room of data storage, where CSV sits as the reluctant monarch. While Postgres kneels before the throne with actual database capabilities, Excel and HyperCard stand guard like knights who peaked in high school. Meanwhile, Google Sheets, Access, and Airtable huddle on the floor like peasants who think they'll someday be invited to dinner. The real joke? We all complain about CSV's lack of typing, relations, and basic sanity checks, yet it's outlived every "proper" database solution we've thrown at it. It's the cockroach of data formats - nuclear war wouldn't kill it, just create more variants with inconsistent delimiters.

Google's reaction when you type "anal" vs "analyze table postgres" is the perfect representation of developer life. That moment when you're frantically typing technical queries at work and stop mid-word... The sheer panic as you realize what autocomplete might suggest to your coworkers walking by. We've all been there—frantically backspacing before someone notices, praying to the demo gods that your screen isn't being shared. Database administration has never been so... risky.

Content Why buy more RAM when you can just add another swap file? 166.0 211 47.3 Mem SwpI 31111158.9 6CIl 45.0 91111166.5 4111111160.1 7C 43.3 14.8 63.2 811 47.1 11111 38.8 011111101111111111111153.8662. 7G 511G1021G PID USER 3921466 postgres 2678 user PRI NI VIRT RES SHR S CPU MEM TIME Command 30 10 862G 18.7G 29388 R 97.8 29.2 72h32:35 postgres 20 0 6857M 319M 156M S 0.0 0.5 3h09:38 usrbin, FiHelp F2Setup F3SearchFUFilterF5Tree F6SortByFTNice -FNice F9Kill NAME TYPE devsda3 swapfile file swapfile2 file SIZE USED PRIO partition 321.4G 321.4G -2 400G 142.4G -3 300G -4 My SQL query has been running for over 80 hours and I am not letting the OOM killer reap it after all this time.

Content MySQL. MFRS IN SHAMBLES AFTER (Nintendo MADE THIS STATEMENT PostgreSQL

Content Mongodb is for devs who don't want to learn sql CHANGE MY MIND