Guess I Will Use Mongo DB Then

Nothing quite screams "forever alone" like spending Valentine's Day debugging SQL joins while everyone else is out there forming actual human connections. The punchline? Your database has more relationships than you do. So naturally, the solution is to abandon relational databases entirely and switch to MongoDB where everything is just... unstructured chaos. No relations, no problems, right? Just like your love life! The beauty here is that MongoDB doesn't judge you for being commitment-phobic—it literally doesn't enforce relationships between data. It's the perfect database for people who can't even maintain a relationship with their houseplants.