Developers Worst Nightmare

Content Vishal VishalMalvi developer who uses mechanical keyboards and many monitors for coding just want attention. - Non IT people

Content STOP DOING OS • CPUS WERE NOT MEANT TO BE SHARED! • YEARS OF SCHEDULERS yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for running more than one task at a time! • Wanted to terminate a process? We had a tool for that. It was called manual restart. • "Please give me 30 bytes of virtual memory. Please allocate it on the heap. ' - Statements dreamed up by evil wizards. LOOK at what kernel developers have been demanding your respect for all this time, with all the memory and CPUS we built for them. (This is REAL KERNEL CODE, done by REAL KERNEL DEVS): prev_state = READ_ONCE(prev->__state); if (sched mode == SM IDLE) { * This is how we return from a fork. * SCX must consult the BPF scheduler to if (Irq->nr_running 88 !scx_enabled()) { i SYM_CODE_START(ret_from_fork) next = prev; bl schedule_tail goto picked; cbz x19, 1f MOV x0, x20 } else if (! preempt 8& prev_state) { try_to_block_task(rq, prev, prev_state); switch_count = &prev->nvcsw; blr X19 1: get_current_task tsk MoV X0, sp } bl asm_exit_to_user_mode ret_to_user next = pick_next_task(rq, prev, &rf); rq_set_donor(rq, next); SYM_CODE_END(ret_from_fork) NOKPROBE(ret_from_fork) STOCALE UEFANEX drag pushO: __diag_ignore(GCC, 8, "-Wattribute-alias", dancinkage cong sysomndnes Marta, aC vecc, VA AKUS_/ attribute (altas( stringity( se systanane)))); ONGsystanane, ERRNO); _do_systinare(__MAP(X,__SC_DECL,_VA_ARGS_ _se_sysmenare(__MAP(X,__SC_LONG,__VA_ARGS__)): se sysauname MAP(X, SC LONG,VA ARGS_)) do sussunare MAP(X. SC CAST, VA ARGS. _MAP(X, __SC_TEST,__VA_ARGS_ -PROTECT(x, ret,__MAP(X, __SC_ARGS, _VA_ARGS__)): 10000 94 static inline long SYSCALL DESTEX - do systanare (_MaP(X, _ SC_DECL, _ VA ARGS_ ????? ?????? ??????????? Hello I would like to a process please. They have played us for absolute fools.

Content programing professors Um. whatcha got there? global variables me A smoothie

Content Memory Dump Old MacDonald had a farm LAnd on his farm he had a farm POp. What the E-I-E-I-O E-I-E-I-O With a farm, farm here A problen has been detected and Mindows MEMORY RANAGEMENT If this is the first time you've seen this Stop error screen, restart your computer. If this screen appears again, follow these steps: Check to make sure any new hardware or software is properly installed. If this is a new installation, ask your hardware or software I Windows updates you wight need. If problens continue, disable or renove any newly installed hardware or Disable BIOS memory options such as caching or shadowing. If you need to use Sate rode to ed scar as disable, component select ast your computer, press Beginning dump of physical men Physical Contact your systen administrator or technical support group for further And a farmaim threeee Made possible by Patrons like: Keith Richards Alarmingly Bad 2021 Jon Baker AlarminglyBad.com

You know you've entered the danger zone when you're vibing so hard that you accidentally store passwords in plaintext AND make them globally unique across all users. The error message is basically tattling on poor [email protected], exposing their password to everyone who tries to register. This is what happens when you skip the "hash your passwords" lecture and go straight to "let's just see if it works." Somewhere, a security engineer just felt a disturbance in the force. This registration form is basically a GDPR violation speedrun. Not only are passwords stored in a way that allows collision detection, but they're also casually revealing other users' email addresses in error messages. It's like a two-for-one special on security nightmares.

SWEET MOTHER OF CRYPTOGRAPHY! 😱 The absolute HORROR of clicking "forgot password" and getting your ACTUAL PASSWORD emailed back to you! That's not a convenience feature—that's a full-blown security NIGHTMARE! It means they're storing your precious password in plain text like it's some casual grocery list! Any half-decent developer would be HYPERVENTILATING right now. Proper password storage should involve hashing, salting, and praying to the security gods—not keeping them in a "passwords.txt" file labeled "super important don't hack"! If a website emails your password back, run away screaming and change that password EVERYWHERE you've used it because honey, that database is one curious intern away from catastrophe! 💀