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Developers Worst Nightmare

database Developer problems Project management Legacy code Priorities Workload Migration

Databases Programming Backend Devops Android

24 days ago 757,843 views 0 shares

Developers Worst Nightmare

database-memes, android-memes, legacy-code-memes, migration-memes, project-management-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Oh sure, just casually migrate 10TB of legacy database like it's a Sunday afternoon hobby! That sounds like a delightful 6-month project involving zero documentation, mysterious foreign keys, and at least three stored procedures written by someone who quit in 2009. But wait—plot twist! Someone wants you to rename the Android app. You know, just change a few strings here and there, update the package name, refactor literally everything, rebuild all the signing configs, update every single reference in the codebase, and pray Google Play doesn't reject your submission. Totally the same level of effort, right? The absolute AUDACITY of treating a simple rename like it's less complex than moving an entire database infrastructure is sending me into orbit. One is a career-defining migration saga, the other is a "quick favor" that somehow breaks your entire CI/CD pipeline.

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Don't Always Commit Fraud

Databases Git Testing Debugging Programming

1 year ago 454.6K views 0 shares

Don't Always Commit Fraud

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of developers creating fake test data that's so outrageously unrealistic! 🙄 You know you've reached peak developer desperation when you're creating fictional 150-year-old users just to avoid those pesky validation errors! Heaven forbid we use NORMAL birth dates like June 1, 1970! No no no, we need someone born during the CIVIL WAR because that's TOTALLY inconspicuous in our database! The silent agreement among developers to create these ancient test users is the industry's darkest secret. It's like we're all running underground retirement homes for digital vampires born in 1873. DRAMATIC GASP!

Let's Create A Programming Language

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2 years ago 160.4K views 0 shares

Let's Create A Programming Language | programming-memes, code-memes, program-memes, rds-memes, language-memes, comment-memes, programming language-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content 1 2 Let's Build a programming Language, Every Day from today onwards I will post the current code, and the top comment gets added to the code. And once this program is done I will build an interpreter for the language we have built, and run the program. This is a Comment

Skeptical about the Client in Freelance Work? Try this

Databases Javascript Programming Linux Frontend

5 years ago 280.8K views 1 shares

Skeptical about the Client in Freelance Work? Try this | code-memes, try-memes, function-memes, date-memes, cli-memes, js-memes, query-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content I heard of a guy who put a js function in every piece of spec workcompetition work he did. For every day after full payment was due, the function would lower the opacity of body by 1. As soon as full payment was given, he'd remove the function. If the client paid in full and on time, everything was fine, if they did not, their site would slowly fade away over the course of a few months. edit: Here's the code: var due new Date('2020-01-01'): var today new Date(); var daydiff Math.ceil((due.getTime() - today. getTime()) 86400000); var opacity daydiff 0 ? (100 daydiff) 100 : 1; document.querySelector ("body").style.opacity opacity; Give Award Share Report Save

PSA: Keep up with the kid's lingo.

Databases Javascript Programming Python Java

1 year ago 450.8K views 0 shares

PSA: Keep up with the kid's lingo. | programming-memes, program-memes, c++-memes, function-memes, oop-memes, recursion-memes, kafka-memes, ML-memes, language-memes, indentation-memes, programming language-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content Is Your Child Texting About Programming Languages? What your C obsessed teen's texts actually mean omg - one more generic wtf -wheres the function fml - for my loop idfc - indentation doesn't feel correct lol - logic on loop aka - abhorrent kafkaesque arithmetic rofl - right-oriented frame layout imo - iteration may overload stfu - statically typed feels unwise brb - bad recursion brb

How to print new line in Spanish...

Databases Java Backend

2 years ago 102.9K views 0 shares

How to print new line in Spanish... | java-memes, try-memes, rds-memes, language-memes, comment-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content rLifeProTips u samh10 4h LPT If you're trying to learn a new language try watching children's shows dubbed in that language. Children's shows tend to go over things like shapes, colors, animals, etc. and can help you learn basic words and sentences. School College Learning removed. 4 4.1k J 116 1, Share Award BEST COMMENTS' keepthetips 4h bigziggle 2h Idk any shows in java Reply 4 Vote ProdrammerHumor.io

What Should I Do Now

Databases Programming Webdev Frontend Debugging

9 months ago 632.4K views 0 shares

What Should I Do Now

Guy's surname is "Wu" and some form system decided that two characters just isn't enough for a last name. Because clearly, every database architect in history assumed all humans follow the same naming conventions. The validation rule says minimum 3 characters, and Wu says "I exist." Meta's official account responding with "wuhoooo!" is either peak corporate humor or someone in their social media team is having way too much fun. Fun fact: This is a classic example of Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Names . Names can be one character, they can have no last name, they can be symbols, they can change daily. Your regex won't save you.