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Content YAskReddit US-Eleni 12h After you die, you get access to a database with all the information ever known or collected throughout human history. What do you search for first? Discussion 4.5k I 2.0k Share ? BEST COMMENTS Nicoletree 11h 1 Award Find out what database software they use, how much data they have, and begin looking at the table structure and relationships. 4) Reply 1.4k J jeremv1015 6h Plot twist: It's Mongo and the entirety of human history is stored in a single JSON obiect. The top level is a kev called "events" and the value is an unsorted arrav. 4 217 JuniorSeniorTrainee 3h Turns out god is a really nervous DB admin waiting for the inevitable. All the Apocalypse stuff in the Bible was actuallv iust a misunderstanding of him saying "Guvs vou don't get it, I literally built this shit in seven davs when I probablv should've spent vears on it. But management was pressuring me to deliver in seven davs so I had to hack together this garbage and it will definitely break anv minute now. 1 159 Ar4n 2h Mistranslation in the Bible. On the 7th day he tested.

Ah yes, the mythical "full stack developer" – simultaneously playing the database cello, the frontend trumpet, the backend violin, and the DevOps drums while somehow keeping everything in perfect harmony. Just like Tom trying to do the impossible, you're expected to be a virtuoso at 17 different instruments while management wonders why you can't also conduct the orchestra and sell tickets at the door. This isn't development, it's a one-cat circus where your resume needs to list "juggling while on fire" as a required skill.

Content Daniel Cranney danielcraney Which coding language is the most like 'plain English? 13:42 05 Nov 21 Twitter for iPhone 14 Retweets 19 Quote Tweets 364 Likes 17 Jordi jordienr: 21h Replying to danielcranney Does sql count? 9 5 39 Simon Barker allthecode 21h The language where I can understand every word but still have no idea what's going on 9 2 174 138

The ultimate ADHD trap - an ad promising to replace one dopamine addiction with... *checks notes*... 17 different programming courses that you'll totally finish this time! 🙃 Nothing says "I've conquered my scrolling habit" like starting 36 lessons on Data Analytics that you'll abandon after the first coding high wears off. The irony of using a structured curriculum to fix your executive dysfunction is just *chef's kiss*. Pro tip: You can tell this was made by someone with ADHD because they somehow thought learning Python, R, SQL, NumPy, and pandas simultaneously was a reasonable plan. The only thing missing is "Introduction to Finishing What You Started" - 0 lessons, ∞ hours.

The five stages of grief, but make it hardware failure. Someone's hard drive went from "perfectly fine" to "abstract art installation" real quick. What starts as a normal HDD standing upright gradually transforms into increasingly creative interpretations of what a hard drive could be. First it's standing, then lying flat, then someone thought "what if we bent it a little?" and finally achieved the ultimate form: a hard drive sandwich with extra platters. The title "So Many Levels" is chef's kiss because it works on multiple levels itself (pun absolutely intended). Physical levels of the drive's position, levels of destruction, and levels of desperation when you realize your backup strategy was "I'll do it tomorrow." Fun fact: those shiny platters inside spin at 7200 RPM, which is roughly the same speed your heart rate reaches when you hear that clicking sound. RAID stands for Redundant Array of Independent Disks, but after seeing this, it clearly stands for "Really Avoid Inadequate Disaster-planning."

Content Kristen DiMercurio kdimerc A tip for those of us who work at screens all day: 1. Unclench your jaw 2. Twist your torso from side to side 3. Arch backwards til you're upside down with your hands and feet on the floor 4. Laugh 5. Spider crawl across the room 6. Devour someone whole 7. Haunt the witnesses 22:54 - 32619 Twitter for iPhone