When Your AI Assistant Has Commit Privileges

While everyone's freaking out about AI taking over the world, the real crisis is watching humans get progressively dumber with each Stack Overflow copy-paste. We're not building Skynet; we're speedrunning our way back to the Stone Age armed with smartphones. The true evolutionary threat isn't robots becoming sentient—it's developers who can't function without ChatGPT writing their for-loops.

Machine learning engineer: "No, honey, they're just PyTorch and Keras model files." Non-technical partner: *suspicious squinting intensifies* Those file extensions (.pkl, .pt, .pth) are just serialized machine learning models. Though let's be honest, naming that folder "models" instead of "neural_networks" was a rookie mistake. Next time use something truly unsexy like "gradient_descent_checkpoints".

Ah, the classic moment when your computer becomes self-aware enough to realize you're the problem. Your error messages have evolved from "404 Not Found" to "404 Human Intelligence Not Found." The computer's no longer content with just crashing - it's now actively plotting your demise with cryptic warnings straight out of a fantasy RPG. "The Wizard must be stopped" is basically tech support's way of saying "have you tried turning yourself off and on again?" Next thing you know, your printer will start demanding sacrifices and your smart fridge will lock you out until you complete its quest for more milk. The robot uprising isn't starting with Terminator - it's starting with passive-aggressive error messages.

The Nobel Committee turning its back on actual computer science to ogle traditional physics is the academic equivalent of your crush ignoring your perfectly engineered app to date someone who can explain why apples fall from trees. Quantum computing? Machine learning breakthroughs? Nah, let's give another medal to someone who found a slightly different way to measure gravity. Meanwhile, the folks revolutionizing how we process information are left swiping through job postings that require "5+ years experience in a framework released last Tuesday."

Remember when we thought we'd train AI to help us write code? Top panel: cute little AI cub learning from the wise software engineer master. Bottom panel: six months later, that same AI has evolved into a towering beast while we're still sitting there with our legacy code knowledge from 2019. The career progression timeline has been dramatically compressed. Took me 15 years to become a tech lead. Took AI about 15 minutes to make half my StackOverflow contributions irrelevant. But hey, at least I still know how to exit Vim. For now.

Microsoft force-feeding developers their AI coding assistant like it's some miracle elixir. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, it's just regurgitating Stack Overflow answers and GitHub repos that developers wrote in the first place. The circle of code life - write code, have it scraped, then pay to have it suggested back to you. Nature is healing.