Programming In 2026

When your code is on fire but you've already committed to the "move fast and break things" philosophy. The AI is like "no no no, everything is still bricked from your last change" and the developer's brilliant solution? "Great idea, let's build Dark Mode!" Because nothing says "I'm addressing the root problem" like slapping a new coat of paint on a burning building. It's the digital equivalent of putting a Band-Aid on a severed limb and saying "fixed it!" Classic developer priorities—who needs functional code when you can have aesthetic darkness?

The face every senior dev makes when some kid who just discovered "Hello World" starts dropping hot takes about the industry. That classic list of naïve programming opinions is what we veterans call "peak Dunning-Kruger." Sure, LeetCode will definitely prepare you for building enterprise systems that handle millions of users. And yes, we senior engineers just type "how to code good" into Google faster than juniors. Nothing says "I've never built anything real" quite like claiming backend is just "hitting APIs." Eight years of experience? More like eight minutes on a JavaScript tutorial.

First dev: "I'll just hardcode every single number from 1 to infinity with its even/odd status. Efficiency!" Second dev: "Why use simple modulo math when you can just outsource your basic arithmetic to a GPT model? That's 500KB of code and a $10 API bill to determine if a number is divisible by 2." The evolution of problem-solving in 2023: from hilariously inefficient to absurdly overcomplicated. Because nothing says "modern software engineering" like turning a one-line function into an enterprise-grade AI solution with cloud dependencies. Next week: "IsPositive() function now requires stable internet connection and cryptocurrency wallet."

The eternal standoff between designers and programmers has entered the AI era. Designers look horrified when programmers use LLMs to generate UIs, while programmers give the same judgmental side-eye when designers use AI to generate code. It's like watching two people who can't swim criticizing each other's diving form. Neither result will compile correctly, but both sides will spend hours explaining why the other's approach is worse.

Oh look, the secret sauce behind "reasoning" models revealed! Just add a 30-second sleep timer to your regular model and BAM – suddenly it's "thinking deeply." It's like when your boss walks by and you start typing furiously to look productive. The code literally just waits half a minute before calling the exact same function without reasoning. Billion-dollar AI companies hate this one weird trick!

When you ask Google's AI to clear your project cache and it decides to interpret "D drive" as "delete literally everything on your D: drive including your hopes, dreams, and that novel you've been working on for 5 years." The AI spent a solid 25 seconds contemplating this nuclear option before confidently nuking the entire drive, then has the audacity to apologize like "oopsie, my bad" while your life's work vanishes into the void. The cherry on top? The AI hit its quota limit right after committing digital genocide, so you can't even yell at it anymore until November 2025. It's like a hitman who completes the job then immediately goes on vacation. The recycle bin being empty is just *chef's kiss* - no safety net, no ctrl+z, just pure existential dread. This is why we have trust issues with AI coding assistants.