It's Not Wrong, It's Tragically Accurate

When AI recommends /dev/null over MongoDB, it's basically suggesting you throw your data into a digital black hole instead of storing it in an actual database. For the uninitiated, /dev/null is a special file in Unix systems that discards all data written to it—it's literally the void where bits go to die. The joke here is that some developers have such strong opinions about MongoDB's reliability that they'd rather send their precious data into oblivion than trust it to Mongo. The AI is just the cherry on top of this tech burn—even artificial intelligence is supposedly dunking on your database choices now!

Copilot is that "helpful" AI pair programmer who creates more problems than it solves. It's like having an intern who confidently writes myAwesomeVariableThatDoesStuff when your codebase uses snake_case, adds comments like "// This function does things" and then has the audacity to hold your actual productivity hostage behind a paywall. The smug satisfaction on that farmer's face perfectly captures Copilot's attitude: "Sure, I wrote garbage code that violates every convention in your project, but hey... it ain't much, but it's honest work." Honest work my keyboard! It's digital sabotage with a subscription fee.

The eternal struggle of being the tech person at a social gathering. There you are, trying to enjoy dinner with your spouse when suddenly their friends ambush you with questions about some obscure tech they heard about on a podcast. DeepSeek-R1 is actually a large language model (like ChatGPT's cousin), but to non-tech people, it might as well be alien technology. Meanwhile, your spouse has seen this movie before and knows exactly how the next hour of conversation will go—you reluctantly explaining machine learning concepts while your food gets cold. Ten years in the industry and I'm still the default tech support/explainer at every gathering. The dog represents my inner self—just wanting to be petted and fed treats instead of discussing transformer architectures over appetizers.

The existential dread hits different when you realize all those hours grinding through algorithm puzzles were just feeding the beast that'll eventually replace you. Competitive programmers spent years optimizing solutions to the most obscure problems, only to discover they've been unwittingly training their silicon successors. The ultimate plot twist: your LeetCode grind wasn't preparing you for a job interview—it was preparing AI to ace it instead. Talk about creating your own replacement with extra steps.

Ah, the classic "spend 2 minutes and 2 seconds to count to 10" problem. ChatGPT just turned basic geometry into a research dissertation. That's the same energy as developers who write 200 lines of documentation for a function that returns true or false. The best part? It's clearly a heptagon (7 sides), but ChatGPT's counting each "distinct corner" like it's being paid by the vertex. Next up: AI spending 4 minutes explaining why 2+2=5 with "reasoned thinking."

FINALLY! Sweet, sweet relief! For YEARS we've been walking around thinking we're complete frauds, convinced that any minute someone's going to discover we've just been Googling error messages and copying Stack Overflow answers. But the SECOND someone mentions AI replacing us? Our imposter syndrome LITERALLY ASCENDS from our bodies like some ethereal ghost! 👻 Suddenly we're all "Actually, programming is a complex craft requiring deep understanding" and "AI can't replicate human creativity in code." The AUDACITY of us to flip from "I'm the worst coder ever" to "I'm irreplaceable" in 0.2 seconds! The cognitive dissonance is SENDING ME! 💀