Garbage In, Garbage Out: The GitHub Roast

The eternal cycle of tech employment. You grind through the job hunt, finally land that position, start dreaming about upgrading your potato laptop with your first real paycheck... and then the AI bubble bursts right when you're about to click "Buy Now" on that sweet gaming rig. So you sit there with your ancient machine, watching the market implode, knowing that prebuilt you wanted is now either out of stock or somehow MORE expensive despite the recession. Classic tech worker timing: always one economic disaster away from decent hardware. At least you still have a job... for now. Time to learn how to build PCs from spare parts like it's 2008 again.

The tech industry's relationship with the word "open" is like that ex who said they wanted an "open relationship" but actually meant "I want to see other people while you stay committed." On the left, we've got "Open" VPNs with fine print that would make a lawyer blush: "free" (after you pay), "unlimited" (for exactly two people), and source code you can view from such a distance you'll need the James Webb telescope. And then there's "Open" AI on the right—about as open as Fort Knox during a security drill. "Open research" (coming never), "open models" (just trust us, bro), and an "open culture" where sharing is strictly forbidden. After 15 years in tech, I've learned that "open" is corporate-speak for "we'll keep it open until we've captured enough market share to slam the door shut." Classic bait-and-switch, now with 100% more paywalls!

The futile battle against our AI overlords continues! Racing against code completion is the modern developer's version of challenging a calculator to a math duel. Your fingers become a blur of motion, desperately hammering keys at superhuman speed just to prove you haven't been made obsolete yet. Meanwhile, the AI is basically yawning while it suggests exactly what you were going to type anyway. Nothing says "job security" like frantically typing "console.log" before GitHub Copilot can do it for you.

The ultimate reverse uno card of modern programming! While CS students frantically copy-paste ChatGPT's answers hoping their professor doesn't notice, seasoned devs are out here playing 4D chess—deliberately making their clean, efficient code look like it came from an AI just to appease management's "AI integration" checkbox. Nothing says "I'm embracing the future" quite like downgrading your perfectly functional code with some random variables and unnecessary comments about "leveraging synergies." The irony is delicious.

Python starts out all friendly and approachable, luring you in with its simple syntax and beginner-friendly reputation. "Look at me, I'm so easy to learn!" it says with that innocent dinosaur face. Then suddenly you're drowning in machine learning libraries, matrix math, and data mining frameworks that make calculus look like kindergarten finger painting. The learning curve isn't a curve at all—it's a vertical wall with spikes at the top. One day you're printing "Hello World," the next you're implementing neural networks while questioning your life choices.

Junior developers turning their heads away from perfectly good documentation and help resources to stare longingly at the siren call of ChatGPT with half-baked prompts. The eternal struggle of tech leads everywhere - watching their team ignore centuries of accumulated wisdom in favor of asking an AI "how 2 center div plz?" and then implementing whatever hallucinated garbage it spits out. The documentation might as well be written in invisible ink at this point.