Thanks To Zuck

Thanks To Zuck
Startup founder: "We're disrupting healthcare! Join our mission!" Engineer: "I checked Crunchbase and my salary exceeds your entire funding round." The beautiful transparency of tech compensation data strikes again! Thanks to sites like Crunchbase (and indirectly to Zuckerberg's social networking revolution), engineers can now instantly verify if your "world-changing startup" can actually afford competitive compensation. No more trading actual money for equity in your "revolutionary" idea that's basically "Uber for bandaids." Pre-seed doesn't pay the bills, but FAANG salary certainly does!

ChatGPT Is Made Like

ChatGPT Is Made Like
The public thinks AI is some mystical brain-to-brain knowledge transfer. Amateur programmers imagine it's a beautiful network of interconnected nodes making intelligent decisions. Meanwhile, actual developers know it's just a mountain of nested if-statements descending into madness. That bottom panel hits different after you've spent 15 years in the industry. Fancy marketing terms like "neural networks" and "deep learning" sound impressive until you peek behind the curtain and find what's essentially glorified pattern matching with extra steps. The "10,000 if-statements" comment is the chef's kiss of cynical developer truth. We're not creating consciousness—we're just building increasingly complex decision trees and hoping nobody notices.

This Is Your Final Warning

This Is Your Final Warning
OMG, the AUDACITY of Python developers complaining about simplicity while PHP is over here literally threatening your code with DEATH! 💀 Like, honey, PHP doesn't ask politely - it's either doThis() or DIE. No negotiation, no therapy session, just pure ultimatum energy. Meanwhile, Python devs are throwing tantrums because their language is TOO USER-FRIENDLY? The DRAMA! The IRONY! I can't even... 🙄

Who Has It Like This?

Who Has It Like This?
That moment when you realize cable management is just another form of procrastination. Sure, I could untangle that nightmare of wires, but I'd rather debug that production issue or literally anything else. The cables have achieved sentience at this point and I've decided to respect their life choices. Besides, if someone asks why it looks like a digital squid exploded behind your PC, just call it "organic routing architecture" and pretend it was intentional.

What's The Point

What's The Point
When you finally convince your team to use TypeScript for type safety, but then discover your codebase is just a sea of any types everywhere. The whole point of TypeScript was to avoid this exact situation! It's like buying a Ferrari and then towing it behind a bicycle. Congrats, you've successfully implemented JavaScript with extra steps.

Choose Your Digital Subscription Plan Wisely

Choose Your Digital Subscription Plan Wisely
The eternal battle between corporate streaming services and the high seas of piracy summed up in one perfect comparison. On one side: Pay $19.99/month for questionable 1080p quality, limited to 6 devices, and the warm fuzzy feeling that you're helping some CEO buy a third yacht. On the other: Get pristine 8K UHD BDRip for exactly $0, use it everywhere, enjoy the cultural enrichment of random Eastern European subtitles, and that reassuring disclaimer that definitely makes everything totally legal. The "it's literally a video, it can't have a virus" part is that special blend of technical naivety that's gotten many a developer's personal laptop reformatted after downloading "WandaVision.S01E09.FINAL.exe"

The Final Boss Of Programming

The Final Boss Of Programming
The rare sighting of a programming purist in the wild! This developer has achieved mythical status by rejecting all modern conveniences: No cursor? Check. No AI assistants? Check. No search engine? Check. Just a human, a rusty ThinkPad, Vim, man pages, and Arch Linux. This is like watching someone hunt with a sharpened stick while everyone else uses rifles. Either this person is the final boss of programming or they're just showing off their digital masochism in public. The "psychopath" label is just what normal devs call someone who makes them feel guilty about their 57 Chrome tabs of Stack Overflow answers.

Independence Day For Internet Explorer

Independence Day For Internet Explorer
The Internet Explorer mascot is making a triumphant return on July 4, 2025, proudly declaring you can't spell "Independence" without "IE"! But in the second panel, reality hits hard as the browser gets bombarded with all the reasons it was phased out—inefficient, embarrassing, inferior, weird, ancient, retired, asinine, and simpleton. Poor IE finally gets the message and slinks away, muttering curses. It's the digital equivalent of that uncle who keeps showing up at family gatherings despite nobody inviting him anymore.

The Last Vim Samurai

The Last Vim Samurai
Spotted in the wild: the elusive Vim purist, a developer so hardcore they've rejected modern comforts like autocomplete, AI assistants, and even search engines. This rare specimen navigates Arch Linux solely through cryptic man pages while typing raw code on a battle-scarred ThinkPad. It's like watching someone choose to chisel code into stone tablets when everyone else is using power tools. The "psychopath" label might be harsh, but let's be honest—this is the same energy as someone who insists on churning their own butter while living next door to a grocery store.

If I Had A Penny For Every Firefox-Specific Issue

If I Had A Penny For Every Firefox-Specific Issue
That waterfall of pennies represents my soul leaving my body after hearing "works on Chrome but not Firefox" for the 500th time. The classic browser compatibility hell where your code runs perfectly everywhere except that one browser some VP insists on using. Nothing like spending 8 hours debugging a CSS flex issue that only happens in Firefox at exactly 768px width with an odd number of list items. Bonus points when the fix breaks something in Safari!

The OneDrive Experience

The OneDrive Experience
First panel: OneDrive appears. Second panel: OneDrive disappears, giving you that brief moment of hope. Third panel: OneDrive returns like that coworker who says they're leaving but never actually quits. Microsoft's cloud storage is like a clingy ex who keeps showing up at your door despite being told "I just want to save this file locally, please."

Maybe We Should Switch To Linux Already

Maybe We Should Switch To Linux Already
Windows security in a nutshell! The computer is like that friend who's WAY too trusting—happily installing programs without checking their credentials first. Then suddenly gets paranoid when it's too late. "Where are you from buddy?" is basically Windows' version of security theater before it freaks out with virus warnings after the malware is already running wild. Meanwhile, Linux users are sipping tea watching this disaster unfold from their permission-based sanctuary.