This Is Your Final Warning

Content PROGRAMMING EXPLAINED WITH MUSIC PHP IS COUNTRI IT SUCKS BUT IT'S EVERYWHERE o toggl JAVASCRIPT 15 A ONE -MAN BAND. IT DOES EVERYTHING (THOUGLY: IT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T C IS HARD ROCK - IT USED TO BE PRETTY POPULAR BUT MOST PEOPLE HAVE OUTGROWN CSS IS MUMBLE RAP- ANYONE CAN DO IT AND IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A PROGRAMMER HASKELL IS JAZZ- COMPLEX BUT INCREDIBLY POWERFUL AND FLEXIBLE (IF YOU KNOW How USE SWIFT Is U2 - YoU HavE IT BECAUSE APPLE GAVE IT TO YOU JAVA IS AN OBSCURE 17-CENTURY SYMPHONY - YoU Have To TAKE A CLaSS To KNOW ABOUT IT LISP IS BLACK METAL - NO ONE UNDERSTANDS IT AND ITS FANS MAKE PEDPLE NERVOUS MART VIRKUS'19

Someone suggests optimizing your site and you're just sitting there nodding along like "yeah, yeah, optimization, totally." Then they hit you with "add another plugin" and suddenly you're Joey from Friends with the biggest smile on your face. Because why spend hours refactoring code and actually learning performance best practices when you can just slap on another 500KB WordPress plugin that promises to make everything faster? Sure, your site now loads 47 different JavaScript files and has more dependencies than a soap opera, but at least you didn't have to touch any actual code. The plugin says it optimizes things, so it must be working, right? Right?

Content Miquel 11 months ago Next week I'm starting my new job as a PHP backend developer at Pornhub. Not gonna lie, I'm quite ashamed to tell my family and friends I will be using PHP.

Content FROGRAMMING EXPLAINED WITH MUSIC PHP IS COUNtR IT SUCKS BUT IT'S EVERYWHERE toggl JAVASCRIPT 15 A ONE- MAN BAND IT DOES EVERYTHING (THOUGH IT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T C IS HARD ROCK - IT USED TO BE PRETTY POPULAR BUT MOST PEOPLE HAVE OUTGROWN IT CSS IS MUMBLE RAP - ANYONE CAN DO IT AND IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A PROGRAMMER HASKELL IS JAZZ- COMPLEX, BUT INCREDIBLY POWERFUL AND FLEXIBLE (IF YOU KNOW How USE SWIFT IS U2 - You HAVE IT BECAUSE APPLE GAVE IT TO YOU JAVA IS AN OBSCURE 17-CENTURY SYMPHONY - YOU HAVE TO TAKE A CLASS TO KNOW ABOUT IT. LISP IS BLACK METAL - NO ONE UNDERSTANDS IT AND ITS FANS MAKE PEOPLE NERVOUS MART VIRKUS '19 ProarammerHumor.io

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If programming languages were weapons of choice, this is what we'd all be carrying. C++ is basically that Swiss Army knife with 500 functions you'll never use but can't throw away. JavaScript? Those kitchen scissors that somehow cut everything except what you actually need them for. Python gets the chainsaw because it chops through problems with brute simplicity (until you hit a threading issue). Meanwhile, Assembly programmers are performing surgery with precision scalpels because they're controlling every single byte like the control freaks they are. And then there's Visual Basic... literally just a spoon. Not even a sharp spoon. The kind of tool you give to the intern who can't be trusted with anything dangerous. The real joke? We're all still getting paid to use these ridiculous tools to build things that somehow run the entire world. Sleep tight!