This Is Your Final Warning

Content Tom Scott tomscott Working on code for a new project. 20:20 What I should do: learn the new state-of-the-art, figure out how to run this as a "serverless" system in The Cloud. What I'm actually doing: fixing up decade-old PHP code, because it works, I trust it, and I know how to fix it if it breaks. 97

Content yeff yephph Follow What does this even mean to me Hello Jeffrey, Unfortunately due to company policy, we are unable to offer positions to people with the name Jeffrey since it will not work with our database schema 1:03 AM - 12 Apr 2020 4,740 Retweets 59,001 Likes

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Content Java C Programmers Python Programmers whatever the hell PHP programmers are trying to do 152 SRGRAFO

The tech world's most reliable constant isn't Moore's Law—it's our ability to prematurely declare PHP dead while it quietly powers half the internet. From ColdFusion (1995) to ASP.NET (2002) to Ruby on Rails (2004) to Django (2006) to NextJS (2018), we've spent three decades confidently announcing PHP's funeral while writing our revolutionary frameworks that will "definitely replace it this time." Yet here we are in 2025, celebrating PHP's 30th birthday. The language that refuses to die despite our best efforts. It's like that coworker who keeps surviving layoffs despite doing everything in Comic Sans.

Content LEARN PROGRAMMING FROM RPROGRAMMERHUMOR JOKES PRETEND TO UNDERSTAND RPROGRAMMERHUMOR JOKES AND LAUGH HYSTERICALLY AT WORDS LIKE "PHP" EVENTHOUGH YOU ARE ILLITERATE, CAN'T EVEN READ AND IUST RECOGNIZE THE GIYPHS