The Microsoft Update Circus

Content Imperative stoneager Uses sed, awk, grep... on a daily TASTES 3 character long variable names "00P is literally Hitler" Never bashes rychon or Javascript. proudly uses them to make elitists Wrote 95 of all programs that power the modern world Doesn't care what OS or editor hee MIs main machine nappens to be a 2013 MacbOOk Air he got as a git Writes his own software runctiona elitist Watches Computerphile, thinks it's accuac programming "Monad g000" "Lazy evaluation good" "Loop bad" "Mutate bad" "Imperative not elegant" writes code on paper to avoid side effects Responsible or 0 lines or code in produccion Uses Emacs with a light theme on an oLd Debian machine Uses software written by imperative stoneager 00P boilerplater -obsessed newager His job consists of writing the same boilerplate code every single day and he LOVES it "Rust will replace C and C" Always includes a safety section in his documentation Watches Bob Martin, thinks the quy is a genius "Here is this awesome PR, bro, it replaces vour unsate code with my slow and verbose but safe code" His variable names consist of at easts whole words "Oh, I need an object for this piece of data, let me make a class No support for macOS, but writes an entire page of documentation on how to hack an installation on windows real ack to anticinate all the Best he's ever accomplished is possible scenarios mav or mav not writing a colored version or cat encounter in the far future" and Ls Responsible for 95 of all lines of . Uses Neovin with Grusboy color code in the world scheme on Arch Linux Uses JetBrains IDES on windows Uses bloated proprietary software Mechanical keyboard, 34-inch monitor no zoom when he screencasts, if you can't see too had

The true miracle of modern computing: clicking "Update and shut down" and your Windows machine actually shuts down instead of sneakily installing updates for 45 minutes. Ten years in tech and I'm still suspicious when Windows does what it promises. It's like finding a bug-free release or documentation that matches the code—technically possible but deeply unsettling.

Content Microsoft edge browser it's used for installing FIRefoX like Windows to install Linux in dualboot

The classic tech relationship drama in two acts! In 2020, Windows 7 users were desperately clinging to their beloved OS, screaming "DON'T FORCE ME TO INSTALL 10" while Microsoft pushed updates like an overeager salesperson. Fast forward to 2025, and those same users who reluctantly upgraded are now sobbing on the floor begging Windows 10 "DON'T LEAVE ME" as Microsoft prepares to sunset it for Windows 11. Nothing captures the tech circle of life better than our toxic relationship with operating systems – hating the new one until it becomes the old one we can't live without. The upgrade cycle: where yesterday's nightmare becomes tomorrow's security blanket.

Content "SO, WHERE DiD YoU TWO MEET?" AT THE OFFiCE (AT STARBUCKS GiTHUB WiNDOWS USERS MAC USERS LiNUX USERS i fixed this meme

Content TIME FOR A GOOD 3 PRODUCTIVE DAY AT THE COMPUTER! EVERYTHING IS BROKEN NOW OH BOY, A SOFTWARE UPDATE! UPDATING