The Dystopian Reality Of Web Browsing In 2025

Ah, "Vibe Coding" – where the only requirement is vibes and absolutely zero coding knowledge. Started as industry satire, now it's an actual 4-week course with a fancy instructor in a green suit promising to make you feel good about not understanding a single line of code. This is like offering "Vibe Surgery" where you just hold a scalpel and manifest healing energy. Next up: "Vibe Engineering" – build bridges with positive affirmations and Instagram filters. The tech industry has officially completed its transformation from "we need skilled engineers" to "just bring your authentic self and we'll figure out how to deploy that to production."

The stick figure enthusiastically declares JavaScript as their favorite language, only to reveal why: JavaScript's infamous type coercion turns "11" + 1 into "111" (string concatenation) but "11" - 1 into 10 (numeric subtraction). This is the programming equivalent of falling in love with someone for their most chaotic trait. It's like saying "I adore this person because they alphabetize their bookshelf but organize their fridge by color." The drunk character in the corner just watching this madness unfold is every senior developer who's been burned by these quirks but has Stockholm syndrome at this point.

The eternal frontend struggle in three acts: Act 1: Your website and performance are perfectly balanced on the seesaw. Life is good. Act 2: "Let me just add this tiny CSS library that saves three lines of code." *Balance shifts slightly* Act 3: *500KB later* Your website is now crushing performance into the stratosphere while the hand of fate (probably your project manager) reaches in to fix the disaster. And this, friends, is why we can't have nice things in web development. Those "lightweight" libraries are the gateway drug to bundle bloat.

Ah, the dependency economy strikes again! Nothing says "Make JavaScript Great Again" like slapping tariffs on all your package managers. 67% on NPM? That's how you end up with node_modules the size of Wyoming but still missing that one critical dependency. And Cargo at 90%? Rust developers about to start smuggling crates across the border. Meanwhile, Homebrew at just 14% is clearly the "very fine package manager on both sides." The only thing growing faster than these tariffs is your package-lock.json file.

The ultimate solution to your version control woes! This developer just wrote the most efficient .gitignore file in history: * (literally just an asterisk). Why waste time specifying hundreds of file patterns when you can simply tell Git to ignore EVERYTHING? Then just manually add the few files you actually want to track. It's like burning down your house to avoid cleaning it. Pure chaotic genius that would make any senior developer simultaneously laugh and cry.

Remember when you thought coding was all about building cool holographic interfaces like Tony Stark? Then reality hit and you found yourself debugging a production issue at midnight because someone forgot to escape a single quote in a SQL query. The gap between the fantasy of being a tech genius and the reality of staring at a terminal for 8 hours straight is the true origin story of every senior developer's cynicism.