Modern Professional Programmer

When everyone's out here treating ChatGPT and Copilot like their personal coding assistants, and you're just... not. You've somehow made it through an entire year writing actual code with your actual brain, and now you're wearing that smug superiority like a badge of honor. While your coworkers are prompting their way through PRs, you're out here manually typing semicolons like it's 2019. The look says it all: "I still remember what a for loop looks like without asking an AI." Whether that's admirable or just stubborn is up for debate, but hey, at least your GitHub contributions are authentically yours.

Ah, the classic "spend 2 minutes and 2 seconds to count to 10" problem. ChatGPT just turned basic geometry into a research dissertation. That's the same energy as developers who write 200 lines of documentation for a function that returns true or false. The best part? It's clearly a heptagon (7 sides), but ChatGPT's counting each "distinct corner" like it's being paid by the vertex. Next up: AI spending 4 minutes explaining why 2+2=5 with "reasoned thinking."

So AI already brutally murdered RAM and is currently swinging at RAM's poor cousin (Crucial brand, nice touch). But wait—there's still one more door to kick down: the GPU. And honestly? GPU manufacturers are probably sweating right now because AI's appetite for VRAM is absolutely insatiable . First, AI workloads ate all your RAM for breakfast with massive language models and training datasets. Then they came for your storage with multi-terabyte model checkpoints. Now they're eyeing your GPU like it's the final boss in a horror game, except the boss always wins. Your RTX 4090? Cute. AI needs a server farm with 8x H100s just to load the model weights. The real kicker? While gamers are out here celebrating their 24GB VRAM cards, AI researchers are like "yeah that'll hold my model's attention layer... for one token." The GPU shortage wasn't a crypto thing—it was a preview of coming attractions.

Content Finding enterprise input validation code that's just if"@* in emailString: return true

So your AI girlfriend comes in two flavors: the polished, user-friendly interface that normies see, and the glorious exploded view of GPUs, cooling systems, circuit boards, and enough hardware to power a small data center. One's optimized for emotional support, the other's optimized for thermal throttling. Programmers naturally prefer the stripped-down version because we know what's really going on under the hood. Who needs small talk when you can admire the raw computational power, the architecture, the sheer engineering beauty of stacked processors working overtime to generate "I miss you too 🥺"? Romance is temporary, but a well-cooled GPU cluster is forever. Plus, the right side is honest. No pretense, no illusions—just pure silicon and electricity pretending to care about your day. That's the kind of transparency we can respect.

When AI confidently told everyone there are only two Rs in "strawberry" (spoiler: there are THREE), the internet collectively lost its mind. Like, bestie, you can write sonnets and debug code but you can't count letters? The meme roasts AI's infamous fail by comparing it to stroke symptoms—because honestly, that level of confident wrongness IS concerning. The "incoherent speech" panel hits different when your supposedly superintelligent overlord can't even spell-check its own existence. It's giving "I can generate entire novels but basic literacy? That's where I draw the line." The irony of AI promising world domination while simultaneously failing kindergarten-level tasks is *chef's kiss* peak comedy.