Someone Cooked Here

The eternal battle between Vim, VS Code, and Notepad++ users in one perfect meme! The distraught developer is having a meltdown over forgetting a semicolon - that tiny syntax character that brings entire codebases crashing down. Meanwhile, the hooded figures (modern IDE users) are utterly confused why this is even an issue. In 2024, with intelligent code completion, linting, and auto-formatting, semicolon errors are practically extinct for devs using modern tools. But for the purists coding in vanilla environments? That missing semicolon might as well be a missing kidney. The true comedy gold is that both sides think the other is completely insane. Tool elitism at its finest!

The eternal zombie of web development strikes again! PHP continues to shamble along despite countless "PHP is dead" articles published every year since approximately 2005. The language that powers 77% of all websites somehow persists through constant ridicule, security concerns, and syntactical oddities that would make any CS professor weep. Yet there it is, running WordPress, Facebook, and probably your company's legacy codebase that nobody wants to touch. Its survival skills are unmatched - like a cockroach after nuclear winter, PHP simply refuses to die.

Oh, the SHEER AGONY of trying to code without internet! Your brain literally MELTS into a puddle of despair as you realize you can't Google that one syntax error, can't check Stack Overflow for the 500th time today, and can't copy-paste from random GitHub repos! It's like being a surgeon with no hands or a chef with no ingredients! The red alarm circles perfectly capture that moment when you realize all your programming "skill" was actually just your ability to search for other people's solutions. Time to face the horrifying truth: do you even know how to code, or are you just REALLY good at internet searching?!

Ah yes, the classic "$800,000 bootcamp" that promises to transform you into a software engineer in just 3 months by teaching you *checks notes* approximately 87 programming languages, including some that barely exist anymore. Nothing says "legitimate education" like cramming Fortran, COBOL, and Assembly alongside React and TypeScript into 90 days. The "if you can't find a job you can spit on our faces" guarantee is the cherry on top of this scam sundae. Spoiler alert: The only thing you'll master in 3 months is how to lose $800K faster than a startup with free snacks and ping pong tables.

The JavaScript ecosystem is basically Pennywise from IT luring developers into the sewer with promises of "new frameworks." And what do we do? We dive right in, head first, no questions asked. Next thing you know, you're neck-deep in npm dependencies wondering why you didn't just stick with jQuery. The framework churn is so real that by the time you master one, three more have popped up claiming to be "revolutionary." It's the developer equivalent of Stockholm syndrome – we keep going back for more punishment.

Four years of programming and still feeling like an imposter? Welcome to the club. The cat's face says it all—blank stare of existential dread when someone assumes you know things. The tech industry runs on Stack Overflow and caffeine, not actual knowledge. Just smile and nod while frantically Googling "how to center a div" for the 500th time.