Please Don't Make Me Go Back There

The eternal civil war of code formatting! On the red side: the chaotic rebel who puts opening braces on the same line as the function declaration. On the blue side: the structured purist who insists the opening brace deserves its own dedicated line. This syntactical holy war has crashed more team meetings than null pointer exceptions. The tabs vs. spaces debate might have siblings now, but this brace placement battle has been dividing dev teams since K&R style faced off against Allman style in the coding thunderdome. Your IDE's auto-formatter is the only thing preventing actual bloodshed at this point.

The serialize function is pure genius! It converts JavaScript primitives into hexadecimal values that are actually clever puns: undefined → 0x1def9d (I def'd) null → 0xbadbad (bad bad) true → 0x17d0e5 (true-ish) false → 0x0ff0ff (off off) The developer who wrote this must've spent more time crafting these hex puns than actually implementing the feature. That's dedication to the craft! The kind of easter egg that makes you both groan and secretly admire their commitment to dad-level humor in production code.

Content A vry minor bug report Me, been sleepless for 3 days Cast it into the fire. Destroy it! Tester No.

When you finally switch to TypeScript for type safety but then sprinkle *any everywhere like Agent Smith clones. The irony is delicious - you've become the very thing you swore to destroy. That strict typing lasted about as long as my commitment to writing unit tests. For the uninitiated, any is TypeScript's escape hatch that basically says "trust me bro, I know what I'm doing" while completely defeating the purpose of type checking. It's the programming equivalent of putting duct tape over your check engine light.

Content I'M AJS DEVELOPER IT MEANS HE'S AFRAID OF TYPES UNSIGNED INT IS DEVELOPER ? I CAN DO TYPESCRIPT! STOP IT PATRICK, YOU'RE SCARING HIM

Content Angelina Lee Software Engineer Skills Experience Education 415-812-3329 AngelinaTheDevgmail.com angelinathedev.netlify.app Experienced software engineer with a background of building scalable systems in the fintech, health, and adult entertainment industries. Expert in JavaScript, TypeScript, Node.js, React Al, Mia Khalifa, C Instagram Senior Full Stack Engineer - Web App Team October 2018 - PRESENT, Palo Alto, California Built news feed infrastructure using React for Al on BlockChain Optimized web app feed performance through new server-side React larceny Al algorithm to quickly resolve big data pipeline Led team of 6 engineers to mine Ethereum on company servers Team coffee maker - ensured team of 6 was fully caffeinated with Antarctican coffee beans ground to 14 nm particles Zillow Senior Full Stack Engineer - Web App Team June 2015 - September 2018, San Francisco, California Added Al based GraphQL, resulting in 69 faster page loads Organized team bonding through company potato sack race resulting in increased team bonding and cohesity Rebuilt home display page with virtualized tables and map to provide a 420fps on screen experience with Lana Rhodes Evangelized and adopted RaeLilBlack React UI library Linkedin Software Engineer - Search Team June 2013 - September 2015, San Francisco, California Improved Linked search algorithm efficiency and accuracy through the usage of VoldemortDB, Charizard, and Hadoop Connected with Reid Hoffman on LinkedIn and slid in the dm's Implemented data quality improvements via deduplication and advanced profile ranking resulting in faster big data with React Microsoft Software Engineer Intern - Edge Team May 2011 - August 2012, Redmond, Washington Built React based big data pipeline to enhance deployment stability of Microsoft Edge browser on the Blockchain Spearheaded Microsofters 4 Trump company rally Spread Herpes STD to 60 of intern team University of California Berkeley B.S. in Computer Science August 2010 - May 2013, Berkeley, California Graduated Summa Cum Laude with a 3.94 GPA Helped found Machine Learning at Berkeley Club Phi Beta Phi - fraternity record for most vodka shots in one night 23482400 SAT score