Please Don't Make Me Go Back There

Content 3rd - Follow Software Engineer 3d 4 In 2021 a research paper was published showing most efficient programming languages. Paper is here, but sadly behind the paywall. Gotta love "free academic pursuit" where they take in public money and then hide the results. https:Inkd.ingFTCtMzU Anyway: It shows that if people care about energy footprint of their systems, they need to ditch things like ruby, python and perl. Typescript also is super inefficient too. (e) C (e) Rust (e) C (e) Ada (v) Java (e) Pascal (c) Chapel (v) Lisp (c) Ocaml (c) Fortran (e) Swift (c) Haskell (v) C (e) Go (i) Dart (v) F 6) JavaScript (v) Racket (i) TypeScript (i) Hack 6) PHP (v) Erlang G) Lua (i) Jruby G) Ruby G) Python G) Perl Energy 1.00 1.03 1.34 1.70 1.98 2.14 2.18 2.27 2.40 2.52 2.79 3.10 3.14 3.23 3.83 4.13 4.45 7.91 21.50 24.02 29.30 42.23 45.98 46.54 69.91 75.88 79.58 (c) C (c) Rust (e) C (e) Ada (v) Java (c) Chapel (c) Go (c) Pascal (c) Ocaml (v) C (v) Lisp (c) Haskell (c) Swift (c) Fortran (v) F (i) JavaScript () Dart (v) Racket (i) Hack G) PHP (v) Erlang (i) Jruby () TypeScript (i) Ruby G) Perl (i) Python (i) Lua Time 1.00 1.04 1.56 1.85 1.89 2.14 2.83 3.02 3.09 3.14 3.40 3.55 4.20 4.20 6.30 6.52 6.67 11.27 26.99 27.64 36.71 43.44 46.20 59.34 65.79 71.90 82.91 (c) Pascal (e) Go (e) C (c) Fortran (c) C (c) Ada (c) Rust (v) Lisp (c) Haskell G PHP (c) Swift (i) Python (c) Ocaml (v) C (i) Hack (v) Racket (i) Ruby (c) Chapel (v) F (i) JavaScript (i) 'TypeScript (v) Java G Perl (i) Lua (v) Erlang (i) Dart (i) Jruby Mb 1.00 1.05 1.17 1.24 1.34 1.47 1.54 1.92 2.45 2.57 2.71, 2.803 2.82 2.85 3.34 3.52 3.97 4.00 4.25 4.59 4.69 6.01 6.62 6.72 7.20 8.64 19.84 gO 56 23 comments 6 reposts

Sleeping peacefully until your brain jolts you awake at 3:27 AM because you realized you used = instead of == in that authentication code. That single equals sign just gave admin access to literally everyone. Sweet dreams! Nothing quite like the cold sweat of realizing you've accidentally created the world's most generous authorization system. The fix takes 2 seconds but the existential dread lasts forever.

PLOT TWIST: They're ALL syntactically correct! 🤯 JavaScript is that chaotic ex who lets you declare variables in ways that would make other languages file a restraining order! Using 'let' as a variable name? SURE! Double 'var'? WHY NOT! JavaScript's like "syntax errors are just suggestions, honey!" This is why TypeScript was invented - someone finally said "I can't live like this anymore!" and created boundaries. The relationship counselor of programming languages.

When you finally switch to TypeScript for type safety but then sprinkle *any everywhere like Agent Smith clones. The irony is delicious - you've become the very thing you swore to destroy. That strict typing lasted about as long as my commitment to writing unit tests. For the uninitiated, any is TypeScript's escape hatch that basically says "trust me bro, I know what I'm doing" while completely defeating the purpose of type checking. It's the programming equivalent of putting duct tape over your check engine light.

Oh the classic "everything is fine" developer energy! 🔥 Git asks how it's going while showing a MASSIVE merge conflict in src.ts that can't even be auto-resolved! And our hero just smiles and says "yea" with dead eyes because what else can you do when your Tuesday morning starts with "Resolve all conflicts manually" messages? This is peak developer dissociation - when your code is literally on fire but you've transcended to a higher plane of acceptance. We've all been there, staring at those red conflict markers while our soul leaves our body! 😂

The serialize function is pure genius! It converts JavaScript primitives into hexadecimal values that are actually clever puns: undefined → 0x1def9d (I def'd) null → 0xbadbad (bad bad) true → 0x17d0e5 (true-ish) false → 0x0ff0ff (off off) The developer who wrote this must've spent more time crafting these hex puns than actually implementing the feature. That's dedication to the craft! The kind of easter egg that makes you both groan and secretly admire their commitment to dad-level humor in production code.