Please Don't Make Me Go Back There

Content rProgrammerHumor The dumbest shit possible with no practical applications in JavaScript JavaScript bad :((

When someone texts "! yes" to "will you be my GF?", the English speaker sees a happy affirmation, but the programmer sees pure Boolean horror. That exclamation mark is negating the "yes" – it's literally saying "NOT yes" in code logic. The perfect relationship crashed before it began because of operator precedence. And they wonder why programmers are single... it's because we can't stop debugging even our love lives.

Content STOP DOING TYPESCRIPT TYPE CHECKING WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TURING COMPLETE YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for data types other than STRING and NUMBER Want to check if your code will work? We have a tool for that: It is called "RUNNING IT" Types DON'T EXIST, it's all deleted by the transpiler "Yes, please abort my build because a type isn't correctly labeled as bivariant. Please paint my screen red because I didn't install typesreact" - Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged LOOK at what Programmers have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the computers and frameworks we built for them (These are REAL types, made by REAL Programmers) nectedConponent React .ComponentclassPickconitc(OnitcOnitedefs.OnitefulParans. keyof ErrorHandli aMierationsA. B. MierateB. CI aMierations?A. B, C, MigrateC, D; Mierations3A. B. C. D. MigrateD. E1: MigrateEa Marat 0. InfersbleConne MigrationstAA Migrations15A Testonde kovof LocalStoraecivockso. A mapDispatch only (as a function) tro state a M. Thisnatchoronsi no state - (. TDispatchProos - 1. TOenProo as manState and mardisnatch (as a function): StateProps (1), TDispatchProos (), TOmProp as manState and aschicostch las a TDi spat chProos no state - 0. StateProps (). no dispatch (. TOmProo no state 1. TDispatchoron They have played us for absolute fools

Ah, the eternal civil war among programmers trying to get the size of something. Is it count() ? size() ? length ? sizeof() ? len() ? Every damn language and library decided to pick their own favorite, and now we're all just Spider-Men pointing at each other in confusion. Nothing says "I'm a seasoned developer" like muscle memory making you type the wrong size function in every language and then cursing under your breath when the IDE throws a red squiggly line. Consistency? In programming? That's a good joke!

Ah, the eternal battle of type systems! In the top panel, we see C language with its compiler ready to stab you if you dare mix an int with a float. "Is that a char* you're passing to a function expecting void*? PREPARE TO DIE." Meanwhile, Python in the bottom panel is like that rebellious teenager: "Types? Yeah, I've heard of them. More like suggestions, really." Your variable can identify as an integer on Monday and a string by Wednesday afternoon. The IDE just stands there with a sign saying it could warn you, but honestly, it's not paid enough to care. The duality of programming: strict typing that makes you feel like you're disarming a bomb vs. dynamic typing where everything's made up and the types don't matter until runtime explodes in production.

The three stages of variable naming in every developer's career: Top: camelCase - One hump for each word. Simple, elegant, industry standard. Middle: PascalCase - Like camelCase but with an ego. Every word gets to start with a capital letter. Bottom: snake_case - For when you're slithering through code at 3am and can't be bothered to reach for the shift key. And somewhere, not pictured: kebab-case - The naming convention that didn't make it into the suitcase.