Nice Try, Google

When GitHub's 1 billionth repository is literally named "shit," you know humanity has peaked. Someone created a repo with the most profound name possible, and GitHub's automated system sent a congratulatory message hoping they "build some great 💩." The universe has a sense of humor after all – a billion repositories of human innovation, and the milestone belongs to a repo that perfectly summarizes most of our code anyway.

The bathroom standoff of programming languages continues into 2025. While other devs avoid the PHP programmer at the urinals like he's carrying a digital plague, the PHP dev is still clinging to relevance with that desperate "78% of the Internet" statistic. It's the coding equivalent of that guy who peaked in high school and won't stop talking about that one touchdown. Sure, WordPress powers a chunk of the web, but so did Internet Explorer once upon a time. Doesn't mean it wasn't a dumpster fire with legacy support.

Nothing says "career optimization" quite like spending your entire youth mastering skills that become obsolete the moment ChatGPT learns to write a for-loop. The education system really nailed that return on investment. Somewhere, a CS professor is updating their syllabus to include "How to Convince AI You're Still Useful 101."

Executive order just dropped: UI/UX terms now require more syllables for maximum developer frustration. Next week they'll rename "copy-paste" to "duplicate-and-relocate-digital-information." Somewhere, a frontend dev is crying into their mechanical keyboard while updating documentation.

Oh, the DEVASTATING innocence! 😱 Some poor, sweet summer child just unleashed their first web crawler on an unsuspecting server and has THE AUDACITY to wonder if it's a DDoS attack! Honey, your little butterfly of code isn't bringing down anyone's infrastructure—it's like showing up to a tank battle with a water pistol and asking if you're committing war crimes! The server is just sitting there, barely noticing your crawler's gentle tickle while you're over here worried you've committed the digital equivalent of arson. PLEASE, the drama of it all! Next you'll be worried your "Hello World" program is hacking the Pentagon! 💀

The existential crisis every front-end dev eventually faces – CSS isn't some mystical language, it's literally just boxes inside boxes inside more boxes! The astronaut's revelation is every developer after their first week of actually understanding the box model. And that red outline? Chef's kiss representation of border: 1px solid red; – the universal debugging technique when your layout breaks for the 47th time today. Flexbox and Grid were just elaborate lies to make us feel better about arranging rectangles.