I Am An Indie Hacker

The medals arms race continues! Nothing says "I'm a coding general" like slapping 47 language badges on your profile for writing that one legendary "Hello World" program in each. It's the developer equivalent of those participation trophies we all got as kids—except now we're adults pretending our weekend Brainfuck tutorial makes us multilingual programming deities. The true irony? Half those languages were abandoned faster than New Year's resolutions, but the flair remains eternal. "Yes, I wrote a console.log once in 2017... you could say I'm something of a JavaScript expert."

The JavaScript ecosystem has evolved into a bizarre bazaar of utility packages with download counts that would make NASA jealous. We've got packages to check if numbers are odd (1.5M downloads/month), even (712K/month), or negative zero (98M/month)! Meanwhile, "is-primitive" quietly collects 12M downloads monthly for telling us if something is... wait for it... primitive. Revolutionary stuff. But the crown jewel? "kind-of" with a staggering 438M downloads/month to determine a value's type—something JavaScript can do natively with typeof. It's like buying bottled air when you're already outside. The NPM ecosystem: where we collectively decided that typing "number % 2 === 0" was just too much work. And we wonder why our node_modules folder needs its own zip code.

Ah, the noble "Pull Stack Developer" – the honest job title we all deserve but never put on our LinkedIn profiles. While everyone's busy pretending they invented their algorithms from scratch, this hero admits what we actually do: frantically copy-paste from Stack Overflow while praying the dependencies don't break. It's not stealing, it's "leveraging community resources." The modern developer's workflow is basically: Google, copy, paste, debug someone else's mistakes, then take full credit in the standup meeting. Efficiency at its finest!

HONEY, THE HOLY WAR IS BACK ON! 💅 The Drake meme perfectly captures the MOST DRAMATIC coding debate of all time - tabs vs. spaces! Some poor soul is clearly REJECTING tabs with the disgust of someone who found a hair in their artisanal coffee, while EMBRACING spaces like it's the last lifeboat on the Titanic. The audacity! The drama! The sheer PETTINESS of it all! And yet, careers have literally ended over this formatting feud. Friendships SHATTERED. Git commits REVERTED. All because someone hit Tab instead of pressing space four times like a CIVILIZED HUMAN BEING.

Who needs love when you have the sweet dopamine rush of closing 100 Chrome tabs after a debugging marathon? That moment when your RAM finally gets to breathe again and your computer stops sounding like it's about to achieve liftoff. Relationships come and go, but the euphoria of conquering that one obscure bug that had you questioning your career choices at 2AM? Unmatched . The best part? Those tabs were basically a documentary of your descent into madness - from "simple solution" to "obscure forum from 2011 where one person had the same problem but never posted the fix."

VS Code users staring blankly at their life choices while WebStorm, CLion, and DataGrip users are doing interpretive dance with their CPU usage. One IDE, zero thoughts. Three IDEs, zero available RAM. The duality of development.