I Am An Indie Hacker

Behold, the digital equivalent of leaving your front door wide open with a neon sign saying "ROBBERS WELCOME!" This masterpiece of security features: Fetching ALL user records into memory (because who needs efficiency?) Comparing passwords in plain text (encryption is overrated anyway) That magnificent if ("true" === "true") statement that always evaluates to true, making the function return false regardless of authentication success Setting a cookie that expires in 1 second (hope you type fast!) Hackers don't even need to try with this one. They can just wait for the inevitable security breach to happen on its own. It's like watching a car crash in slow motion, except the car is your entire user database.

The eternal programming adventure - you start coding with hope and optimism, then inevitably hit a bizarre bug. After hours of frustration, you find that exact bug described in a dusty StackOverflow thread from 2013. The question has 47 upvotes, 12 people commenting "I HAVE THIS EXACT PROBLEM!!!"... and zero answers. Just a tumbleweed rolling by and the original poster's final comment: "Nevermind, fixed it" with no explanation. The digital equivalent of finding an ancient treasure map with the actual treasure location torn off.

The genius wordplay here is killing me. While the tech world obsesses over "full stack developers" (those mythical unicorns who can handle both frontend and backend), this guy proudly declares himself a "pull stack developer" - someone whose primary skill is copying code from Stack Overflow and random GitHub repos. Let's be honest, we're all pull stack developers on those days when deadlines loom and caffeine levels drop. The difference is most of us don't put it on our LinkedIn profiles. This tweet is basically the programmer equivalent of "I'm not a chef, I just heat up frozen meals and arrange them nicely on plates." 5,079 likes because truth hurts, but honesty deserves upvotes.

The expectation vs reality of programming career progression! First year: bright-eyed, hopeful, thinking you'll build the next billion-dollar app. Fourth year: slightly chubbier, dead inside, realizing you're just fixing the same bugs in legacy code while your IDE slowly consumes your RAM. The title "Made Alot Of Money" is the ultimate ironic cherry on top—because the only thing that's grown is your caffeine tolerance and collection of Stack Overflow bookmarks. The real money was the existential dread we accumulated along the way!

Finnish prison rehabilitation just got savage! The meme shows someone crying while being sentenced to learn JavaScript for two years. Let's be honest - spending two years with JavaScript's quirky type coercion, callback hell, and "undefined is not a function" errors might actually be worse than traditional incarceration. At least in regular prison you don't have to deal with npm dependency nightmares or figure out why your promises are eternally pending. The judge clearly knows true punishment when he sees it!

Even Death can't kill Internet Explorer properly. The Grim Reaper shows up with his "It's time to go" speech, but IE just freezes with the classic "Internet Explorer is not responding" message. The ultimate irony - a browser so slow it can't even die on time. Microsoft's digital cockroach somehow outlived its usefulness by a decade yet still managed to be the default browser for corporate America until IT finally got permission to upgrade... to Edge.