A New Social Network For Web Devs

Imagine a world where JavaScript developers have to pay a 20% tax every time they write import ! The economy would collapse faster than a poorly structured promise chain. The fake news chyron brilliantly mocks our dependency-addicted ecosystem where importing half the npm registry for a simple "Hello World" app is standard practice. Meanwhile, that chaos() function perfectly represents what would happen to the dev community if we actually had to pay for our import habits. I'm just waiting for the black market npm packages and the underground import smuggling rings to form. "Psst, kid... want some lodash functions? First one's free."

Ah, the shrimp posture. Nature's way of telling you that your $300 ergonomic chair was a complete waste of money. Eight hours of debugging later and you've evolved into a crustacean with carpal tunnel. The human body wasn't designed for 16-hour coding sessions, but here we are—hunched over keyboards like prehistoric creatures discovering fire. Your spine is just another deprecated feature that management refuses to prioritize.

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of schools asking students to compete in creating their website only to STEAL THE WINNER'S WORK! 🙄 It's the corporate equivalent of saying "Hey kids, design my logo for free, and I'll give the winner a shoutout on Instagram!" Except the prize is... absolutely nothing but the privilege of having your work exploited! Congratulations, you've just experienced your first taste of the tech industry's favorite pastime: getting professional work done for the bargain price of a gold star and a pat on the head! 💀

The modern beginner's dilemma in one perfect image! Trying to pick your first programming language is like being that panicked creature staring at a floor scattered with tech options. JavaScript? Python? Maybe C#? Or perhaps one of those trendy frameworks? The cruel irony is that veterans know it barely matters which pill you swallow first - you'll end up learning half of them anyway. Yet we all remember that initial paralysis by analysis, frantically Googling "best programming language 2024" at 2AM while questioning our life choices. Pro tip: Just pick one and start building something. Six months later, you'll hate whatever you chose and switch anyway!

The AUDACITY of developers thinking they're coding geniuses while their entire app is basically a yacht being dragged by a truck labeled "node_modules" containing 1000 open source packages! Honey, you're not writing code—you're just playing LEGO with other people's blocks! That smug little horse on the yacht thinking they're Captain Code while the REAL heroes are towing their entire career behind them on the highway of dependency. The delusion is BREATHTAKING! 💅

This developer just casually created an "app skeleton" with 3,163 files changed and +637,124 lines of code in a SINGLE commit. That's not a skeleton—that's an entire digital cemetery! When most of us create a "skeleton app," we mean a few files and basic structure. This person apparently thinks "skeleton" means "fully formed creature with organs, skin, and probably its own consciousness." The PR is even marked "Ready to merge" with no reviews requested. Bold strategy—let's see if anyone survives the code review!