That Damned Ele Ph Pant

Content PHPIS DEAD 80 SERVER SIDE MARKET SHARE 80 SERVER madebytio

Content Job details Matches job preferences you are Interested in Salary From 20 an hour Job Type Full-time Shift and Schedule 8 hour shift Dav shift Monday to Friday Qualifications programming (not boot camps): 3 years (Reguired) Laravel: 2 vears (Preferred) PHP (Lamp): 2 vears (Preferred) VuelS: 2 vears (Preferred) Query: 2 years (Preferred) Benefits Pulled from the full job description Dental insurance Retirement plan Health insurance Paid time off Full Job Description THIS ROLE IS FULL TIME ONSITE AT OUR FOLSOM, CA LOCATION.

A classic case of acronym confusion with geopolitical flavor. On the left, we have actual PHP code (not C++) with error checking and config loading. On the right, we have "CPP" (C Plus Plus) at the top and "CCP" (Chinese Communist Party) at the bottom. The joke is that they sound similar but are drastically different entities - one builds software, the other builds... well, a different kind of system. Developers who confuse these two should expect runtime errors of the political variety.

Content 3rd - Follow Software Engineer 3d 4 In 2021 a research paper was published showing most efficient programming languages. Paper is here, but sadly behind the paywall. Gotta love "free academic pursuit" where they take in public money and then hide the results. https:Inkd.ingFTCtMzU Anyway: It shows that if people care about energy footprint of their systems, they need to ditch things like ruby, python and perl. Typescript also is super inefficient too. (e) C (e) Rust (e) C (e) Ada (v) Java (e) Pascal (c) Chapel (v) Lisp (c) Ocaml (c) Fortran (e) Swift (c) Haskell (v) C (e) Go (i) Dart (v) F 6) JavaScript (v) Racket (i) TypeScript (i) Hack 6) PHP (v) Erlang G) Lua (i) Jruby G) Ruby G) Python G) Perl Energy 1.00 1.03 1.34 1.70 1.98 2.14 2.18 2.27 2.40 2.52 2.79 3.10 3.14 3.23 3.83 4.13 4.45 7.91 21.50 24.02 29.30 42.23 45.98 46.54 69.91 75.88 79.58 (c) C (c) Rust (e) C (e) Ada (v) Java (c) Chapel (c) Go (c) Pascal (c) Ocaml (v) C (v) Lisp (c) Haskell (c) Swift (c) Fortran (v) F (i) JavaScript () Dart (v) Racket (i) Hack G) PHP (v) Erlang (i) Jruby () TypeScript (i) Ruby G) Perl (i) Python (i) Lua Time 1.00 1.04 1.56 1.85 1.89 2.14 2.83 3.02 3.09 3.14 3.40 3.55 4.20 4.20 6.30 6.52 6.67 11.27 26.99 27.64 36.71 43.44 46.20 59.34 65.79 71.90 82.91 (c) Pascal (e) Go (e) C (c) Fortran (c) C (c) Ada (c) Rust (v) Lisp (c) Haskell G PHP (c) Swift (i) Python (c) Ocaml (v) C (i) Hack (v) Racket (i) Ruby (c) Chapel (v) F (i) JavaScript (i) 'TypeScript (v) Java G Perl (i) Lua (v) Erlang (i) Dart (i) Jruby Mb 1.00 1.05 1.17 1.24 1.34 1.47 1.54 1.92 2.45 2.57 2.71, 2.803 2.82 2.85 3.34 3.52 3.97 4.00 4.25 4.59 4.69 6.01 6.62 6.72 7.20 8.64 19.84 gO 56 23 comments 6 reposts

Imagine being so blessed that the universe itself conspires to save you from a lifetime of dollar signs and semicolons. Three stars aligned at birth—not to grant you superpowers, but to spare you from the existential dread of maintaining legacy PHP codebases. The mother's prophecy is both a blessing and a roast of an entire language. It's like the programming equivalent of "my child will never have to work in the mines." Sure, PHP powers like 77% of the web (WordPress, we see you), but apparently even celestial bodies think you deserve better career prospects. Plot twist: He probably ended up writing JavaScript professionally instead, which is arguably just trading one existential crisis for another. The stars can only do so much.

The existential crisis of modern programming in one tweet! Someone asks if you're a bot, and the reply cuts straight to the bone: "We are all bots. Some implemented with neurons and synapses, others with PHP. Arguably both are about the same IQ." Brutal takedown of PHP developers everywhere while simultaneously questioning what even makes us human. The philosophical burn is so savage it makes Descartes' "I think therefore I am" look like a casual observation. PHP catching strays in a conversation about artificial intelligence is peak programmer humor.