Networking Memes

Always Write Documentation Before Quitting

1 day ago 103.7K views 0 shares

When your colleague quits without leaving any docs and you're stuck maintaining their cursed codebase, you find yourself staring at blank pages with notes like "This page was left blank because the previous engineer quit before writing documentation." But then you flip to the next page and discover they somehow had time to write a full academic paper on "Image Transfer Protocol Delivery Methods for Sending Pocket Rocket Pictures to Tinder Matches." Complete with an abstract, keywords, and what appears to be legitimate protocol analysis (UDP, TCP, HTTP, SSL) for... optimizing dick pic delivery. The priorities here are chef's kiss . Can't document the actual production system that generates revenue, but can absolutely produce a peer-reviewed paper for EdgartsPocketRocket.com. The dedication to the wrong things is honestly impressive. Pro tip: If you're gonna rage quit, at least leave a README. Your replacement doesn't deserve this chaos.

Zero Trust Architecture

Security Networking Devops

3 days ago 223.6K views 0 shares

When your nephew just wants to play Roblox but you see "unmanaged, no antivirus, no encryption" and suddenly it's a full penetration test scenario. Guest VLAN? Check. Captive portal? Deployed. Bandwidth throttled to dial-up speeds? Absolutely. Blocking HTTP and HTTPS ports? Chef's kiss. The beautiful irony here is spending 45 minutes engineering a fortress-grade network isolation for a 12-year-old's iPad while your sister is having a meltdown about family bonding. But hey, you don't get to be an IT professional by trusting random devices on your network—even if they belong to family. The punchline? "Zero Trust architecture doesn't care about bloodlines." That's not just a joke—that's a lifestyle. Security policies don't have a "but it's family" exception clause. The kid learned a valuable lesson that day: compliance isn't optional, and Uncle IT runs a tighter ship than most enterprises. Thanksgiving might've been ruined, but that perimeter stayed secure. Priorities.

Cloudflare

Cloud Webdev Networking Devops Backend

4 days ago 205.3K views 2 shares

So this is how they keep half the internet running. Two guys literally praying to the server gods because when Cloudflare goes down, it's not just your site that's broken—it's like 30% of the entire web. No pressure though, just a casual Tuesday in the data center where one wrong cable pull could take down your favorite crypto exchange, your bank, and that obscure API you depend on for production. The fact that this is probably more accurate than we'd like to admit is both hilarious and terrifying.

What Is Your Opinion Is This True Or Not

Networking Devops Hardware Backend Cloud

4 days ago 159.9K views 0 shares

What Is Your Opinion Is This True Or Not

Cloudflare protecting the entire internet from DDoS attacks while their own infrastructure is held together by technicians literally praying to the server gods. The gap between "let's start coding" and production reality has never been more accurately documented. Those cables look like they're one sneeze away from taking down half the internet. But hey, if it works, it works. Nobody tell management.

The Myth Of "Consensual" Internet

Networking Webdev Security Cloud

5 days ago 205.6K views 0 shares

When your browser and the remote host are vibing perfectly, both giving enthusiastic consent to exchange packets, but Cloudflare sits in the middle like "I Don't!" and ruins everyone's day. The classic man-in-the-middle scenario, except it's corporate-sanctioned and somehow legal. The "Kill Yourself" suggestion under "What can I do?" is just *chef's kiss* - the most brutally honest error page ever. No "please try again later" or "clear your cache" nonsense. Just straight to existential crisis mode. Fun fact: Cloudflare handles roughly 20% of all web traffic, which means there's a 1 in 5 chance that any given website visit involves this consent-free middleman deciding whether you deserve internet access today. Democracy at its finest.

Better Than Mine

Networking Gamedev

5 days ago 177.1K views 0 shares

Someone's got a ping of 2.6 BILLION milliseconds. For context, that's roughly 744 hours—or 31 days—of latency. At that point, you're not playing online multiplayer, you're sending smoke signals to the server. The best part? Someone in the comments did the math and pointed out it'd literally be faster to train a carrier pigeon to deliver your inputs. RFC 1149 (IP over Avian Carriers) was supposed to be a joke, but here we are, seriously considering it as a viable alternative. Somewhere, a dial-up modem is wheezing in sympathy.

Cloudflare Couldn't Recover At This

Networking Webdev Devops Programming Cloud

5 days ago 214.8K views 0 shares

When your pickup line is literally just recounting global infrastructure failures, you know you've reached peak developer romance. Bringing up that time half the internet went down is apparently the new "Do you come here often?" The girl's reaction says it all—she's either genuinely impressed that someone else was also refreshing their status page every 30 seconds during the outage, or she's plotting her escape route. Either way, this conversation is going better than Cloudflare's uptime that day. Pro tip: If mentioning DNS failures gets you this kind of response, you've found your soulmate. Time to move on to discussing your favorite HTTP status codes on the second date.

Myth Of Consensual Internet

Networking Webdev Debugging Frontend Backend

6 days ago 190.9K views 0 shares

So your browser consents, the host consents, but Cloudflare? Nah, they're the third wheel nobody invited who just shows up and ruins everything. The beautiful irony here is that both ends of the connection are perfectly fine with each other, but Cloudflare sits in the middle like an overprotective parent saying "I DON'T!" while the error message helpfully suggests you "Kill Yourself" as a solution. Welcome to the modern internet, where your consent doesn't matter because some CDN decided you look suspicious. The "Isn't There Someone You Forgot To Ask?" is chef's kiss—like yeah, apparently we needed Cloudflare's permission to access a website. Who knew the internet needed a chaperone?

Sometimes

Networking Devops Debugging Backend Cloud

6 days ago 170.8K views 2 shares

When your production server is located in a data center on the other side of the planet and you're trying to debug why the API is timing out. That 999ms ping is basically the network equivalent of trying to have a conversation via carrier pigeon. At that point, you're not even debugging anymore—you're just sitting there watching the loading spinner while contemplating your life choices. The ramen slurping perfectly captures that "well, might as well eat lunch while I wait for this request to complete" energy. Pro tip: if your ping is approaching a full second, maybe consider switching from TCP to sending postcards.

Are You This Old

Windows Networking Microsoft

7 days ago 154.3K views 0 shares

Nothing says "I've seen some things" quite like remembering when you had to literally phone your way onto the internet. Dial-up was the OG loading screen—except it took 30 seconds of demonic screeching noises before you could even think about loading a webpage. And God forbid someone picked up the phone while you were connected, because your connection would drop faster than a segfault in production. That Windows XP-era dialog box with its gloriously skeuomorphic design brings back memories of 56k modems, AOL CDs flooding your mailbox, and the sheer patience required to download a single MP3. You'd click "Dial," hear the modem negotiate with the ISP like two fax machines having an argument, and pray the connection succeeded on the first try. Bonus points if you remember configuring PPP settings or troubleshooting IRQ conflicts just to get online. The "Anyone who uses this computer" option is peak early 2000s security practices—because who needs proper user authentication when you're the only nerd in the house with internet access?

Last Time For Sure

Cloud Webdev Networking Devops Backend

9 days ago 214.0K views 0 shares

That one kid in class who discovers status monitoring sites and suddenly becomes the herald of every Cloudflare outage. Seven weeks straight. At some point the teacher's just wondering if maybe, just maybe, the kid's router is the actual problem. But no—Cloudflare really does go down that often, and now everyone knows because this kid has appointed himself Chief Outage Officer. The internet's most reliable unreliable service strikes again.

From Ambition To Insecurity: The Startup Speedrun

Programming

12 days ago 103.9K views 0 shares

From Ambition To Insecurity: The Startup Speedrun

The lifecycle of a "revolutionary startup idea" in Discord: from cold DM to complete meltdown in under 3 hours. Our hero Warm-Juggernaut8340 demonstrates the classic startup founder progression: blind ambition → claiming to be an engineer → insulting potential collaborators → calling them children. Meanwhile, True-Strike7696 just sits back and watches the entrepreneurial spirit implode with the patience of someone who's seen this movie before. The perfect psychological breakdown in five messages or less.

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