The Chaotic Energy Of Test-Allergic Developers

Content Thomas Brendel a theSolemnBard Testing data: What would you say are your st- Model: Strengths? Making inferences from minimal data. Testing data : Okay. And your we- Model : Wheat allergies? None whatsoever.

Content Nick Zorchenhimer Found this in production today. I need a drink. THOM CODE public static bool CompareBooleans (bool orig, bool val) return AreBooleansEqual (orig, val); internal static bool AreBooleansEqual (bool orig, bool val) if(orig val) return false; return true: 12:54 AM 31 May 19 Twitter Web Client 2,519 Retweets 7,054 Likes 17

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of software development methodologies laid bare! 😂 Waterfall is just straight-up DELUSIONAL - "Let's plan everything perfectly and then MAGICALLY end up on Mars!" Sure, Jan. 🙄 Agile is that friend who SWEARS they're going to Paris but ends up in their backyard. "We wanted Mars but settled for the Moon because REALITY HAPPENED, sweetie!" Kanban? More like Can't-Ban the endless sticky notes! A YEAR later and you're still begging for armrests while drowning in tiny tasks. The AUDACITY! Scrum is just organizational WHIPLASH. Disappear for a month, fail spectacularly, then have the NERVE to call a 15-minute meeting to start over? I'm DECEASED. ⚰️ And Lean Development? Honey, that's just poverty with WINGS ON A FIRECRACKER. The delusion of convincing investors that your dollar-store rocket might reach Mars "someday" is just *chef's kiss* PEAK STARTUP CULTURE.

Grammar corrections feel like getting shot in the face with a laser gun. Code corrections? That's just free QA. Developers would rather have their entire codebase criticized than deal with someone pointing out they used "your" instead of "you're" in the documentation. Priorities, I guess.

Content STOP DOING COMPUTER SCIENCE Computers were supposed to solve math, NOT to be programmed C is a LETTER, not a language Wanna print() something? Write it in a PAPER with a PEN "I'm writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02" THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE Look at what PROGRAMMERS have been demanding your respect for, after all the led lights we put in their computers: (This is real COMPUTER SCIENCE, done by real COMPUTER SCIENTISTS): os.syal FUNNY GOLORED LETTERS 178 COMPILATION ERRORS????? A FAKE TEAPOT YOU CAN'T USE IF PROGRAMMING WAS REAL HOW COME NOBODY THOUGHT IN DOING while(true) print(money); THEY PLAYED US FOR ABSOLUTE FOOLS

Finally, a bug that's actually visible to the naked eye! This little critter decided to make itself at home right in the middle of someone's code. Talk about literal debugging. The irony of an actual insect crawling across curly braces and semicolons is just *chef's kiss*. Somewhere, a QA engineer is filling out a bug report that reads "Found bug on line 31. No, seriously, it has six legs and everything."