Best practices Memes

Posts tagged with Best practices

When Clean Code Principles Go Too Far
Programming Debugging
23 hours ago 59.9K views 0 shares
When Clean Code Principles Go Too Far
Someone's been reading Uncle Bob's "Clean Code" a bit too religiously! Instead of using normal array indexes like a sane person, they've created named constants for the values 0, 1, 2, and 3. It's like wearing a three-piece suit to take out the trash—technically more formal but completely unnecessary. This is what happens when you follow the "magic numbers are evil" principle without applying any common sense filter. Next up: creating a constant called PLUS_ONE because incrementing by 1 isn't self-documenting enough! 🤦‍♂️

No Salt, Just Pure Security Theater
Security Programming Databases
4 days ago 137.9K views 1 shares
No Salt, Just Pure Security Theater
OMG THE IRONY IS KILLING ME! 💀 They're all "security is our highest priority" and then IMMEDIATELY expose that Derek and Hakan use the EXACT SAME PASSWORD! Like, honey, you had ONE job - making passwords unique - and you've failed so spectacularly that your error message is literally doxxing other users! This isn't just shooting yourself in the foot, it's nuking your entire security philosophy from orbit! The password isn't even salted - it's SEASONED with a sprinkle of complete incompetence!

The Two Types Of Developers
Testing Devops Agile Programming Debugging
7 days ago 113.3K views 0 shares
The Two Types Of Developers
The holy war of development methodologies in one perfect image. Test-driven developers silently writing tests before code like they're taking sacred vows, while error-driven developers (aka the rest of us) frantically debug production crashes at 2AM, screaming into Slack channels. We all know which one management prefers, and which one actually ships the product. Let's be honest – we've all promised ourselves "I'll write tests first next time" right after putting out the fifth fire of the day. Spoiler: we never do.

What's The Point
Typescript Webdev Javascript Programming Frontend
10 days ago 124.4K views 0 shares
What's The Point
When you finally convince your team to use TypeScript for type safety, but then discover your codebase is just a sea of any types everywhere. The whole point of TypeScript was to avoid this exact situation! It's like buying a Ferrari and then towing it behind a bicycle. Congrats, you've successfully implemented JavaScript with extra steps.

Don't Break Anything
Testing Devops Programming Debugging
11 days ago 93.3K views 0 shares
Don't Break Anything
The eternal battle between best practices and chaotic reality. Junior devs contemplating the responsible approach of writing comprehensive unit tests vs. the temptation of the dark side: frantically clicking around the app while muttering "please work" under their breath. Let's be honest - we've all skipped writing tests and gone straight to the "does it blend?" method of QA at some point. Who needs edge case coverage when you can just deploy to production and let users find the bugs for you? It's basically crowdsourced testing!

Starting A New Job: Expectations vs Reality
Programming Agile Debugging Testing
16 days ago 126.5K views 0 shares
Starting A New Job: Expectations vs Reality
First day optimism vs battle-hardened reality. You show up ready to slay the legacy codebase dragon with your shiny best practices sword, only to eventually join the "if nobody touches it, nobody gets hurt" cult. The transformation from idealistic code hero to pragmatic survivor is the most reliable deployment pipeline in our industry. Fun fact: Studies show 94% of refactoring initiatives die quietly in Jira, labeled as "technical debt" until the heat death of the universe.

Branch Protection Won't Save Your API Keys
Git Security Devops Javascript Programming
18 days ago 123.6K views 1 shares
Branch Protection Won't Save Your API Keys
The security admin proudly sets up branch protection requiring admin approval for all code changes. Meanwhile, the intern is confused about needing a +1 approval while the senior dev is like "lgtm, ship it" despite the code clearly containing an API key hardcoded in plain text with debugging logs printing credentials. Security theater at its finest - the branch is protected but the data sure isn't.

I Can't Do This Anymore
Security Programming Debugging Testing
21 days ago 107.2K views 0 shares
I Can't Do This Anymore
OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of cybersecurity teams! 😱 When you're desperately wandering around like a blind Bart Simpson trying to get help with actual security issues, they're NOWHERE to be found! But the MILLISECOND you name a test variable "test_secret" in some throwaway file that will never see production? SUDDENLY they've got NASA-grade telescope vision and are BREATHING DOWN YOUR NECK like you've just committed high treason against the state! The audacity! The drama! The sheer ridiculousness of it all! Meanwhile your actual security concerns are collecting dust somewhere in ticket purgatory. #SecurityTheaterAtItsFinest

The Unbearable Truth About Testing
Testing Devops Programming Debugging
28 days ago 114.2K views 0 shares
The Unbearable Truth About Testing
When a developer finally musters the courage to hear the harsh truth about testing, only to immediately burst into tears upon learning that—gasp—proper testing could have prevented most of their bugs. It's like finding out Santa isn't real, except instead of presents, you've been getting production outages and 3AM emergency calls. The audacity of suggesting developers should test their code before pushing it! Next you'll tell me documentation is useful too!

But It Works, It Is The Main
Programming Security Debugging Testing
1 month ago 100.9K views 0 shares
But It Works, It Is The Main
The padlock is technically locked... if you ignore the fact that it's completely bypassing the actual mechanism. Just like your code that passes all tests while violating every principle in the documentation. Security through obscurity at its finest. The best part? You'll be the one on call when it inevitably breaks at 2am on a Saturday.

The Documentation Paradox
Programming Debugging Testing
1 month ago 127.3K views 0 shares
The Documentation Paradox
Ah, the circle of developer life. Junior devs step on rakes by not documenting code, then get smacked in the face when they forget how their own sorcery works a week later. Meanwhile, seniors are out here doing sick skateboard tricks with proper documentation, clean code, and READMEs... but still wiping out spectacularly when that one function they wrote 6 months ago might as well be ancient Sumerian. The real truth? Nobody remembers how anything works. The difference is seniors have learned to leave themselves breadcrumbs for when future-them inevitably becomes an amnesiac.

The Last .Gitignore You Will Ever Need
Git Webdev Devops Programming
1 month ago 76.4K views 0 shares
The Last .Gitignore You Will Ever Need
The ultimate solution to your version control woes! This developer just wrote the most efficient .gitignore file in history: * (literally just an asterisk). Why waste time specifying hundreds of file patterns when you can simply tell Git to ignore EVERYTHING? Then just manually add the few files you actually want to track. It's like burning down your house to avoid cleaning it. Pure chaotic genius that would make any senior developer simultaneously laugh and cry.