Best practices Memes

Posts tagged with Best practices

Throwing Everything

Throwing Everything
Dart's error handling is... let's say "flexible." While most languages force you to throw proper Exception objects, Dart just shrugs and lets you throw literally anything—strings, numbers, your lunch order, whatever. The documentation casually mentions "you can also throw arbitrary objects" like it's a totally normal feature and not an invitation to chaos. The example throw 'Out of llamas!'; is peak Dart energy—throwing a string error message like we're back in the wild west of programming. Meanwhile, Dart developers are out here yeeting random objects into the error stream with zero regard for type safety or sanity. Need to throw an int? Sure. A Map? Why not. A function? Go for it. The catch blocks must be having existential crises trying to figure out what they're catching. It's the programming equivalent of "throw whatever sticks to the wall" except the wall is your production error handler and nothing sticks properly.

Strong Developers Be Like

Strong Developers Be Like
You know you're living dangerously when your code could throw exceptions that would make the entire app crash, but you just... let it ride. No try-catch, no error handling, just pure faith in your logic. Then your senior dev does a code review and casually asks about exception handling, and suddenly you're sweating bullets trying to maintain composure. The "if he dies, he dies" mentality is peak confidence (or recklessness, depending on who you ask). Either the code works flawlessly, or production goes down in flames. No middle ground. It's like deploying to prod on a Friday afternoon—you're either a hero or updating your LinkedIn profile by Monday. Pro tip: Maybe wrap that database call in a try-catch before your senior finds out you're one null pointer away from taking down the entire microservices architecture.

How Do I Explain It Briefly

How Do I Explain It Briefly
You know that moment when someone asks what you changed and you stare into the void trying to compress 47 file modifications, 3 refactors, 2 bug fixes, and that one random typo correction into a coherent sentence? Yeah, the -m flag becomes your worst enemy. The struggle is real when you've been in the zone for 2 hours, touched half the codebase, and now Git is asking you to summarize your life choices in one line. So you either write "fixed stuff" like a caveman or spend 10 minutes crafting a commit message longer than the actual code changes. Pro tip: This is why you commit early and often. But we all know you won't.

Getting Help With A Software Project

Getting Help With A Software Project
Oh honey, you thought StackOverflow was gonna be your knight in shining armor? THINK AGAIN. Someone asks for help catching mice and the "lovely people" at SO are out here telling them catching mice is deprecated, suggesting they pivot to hunting humans instead, and marking their question as a duplicate of "How to stalk birds." The absolute CHAOS of trying to get actual help on StackOverflow when all you wanted was a simple answer but instead you get roasted, redirected, and rejected faster than a failed CI/CD pipeline. The brutal reality? You're better off debugging alone in the dark at 3 AM with nothing but your rubber duck and existential dread.

Sorry Sir, You Can't Just Git Add Everything

Sorry Sir, You Can't Just Git Add Everything
HONEY, YOU CAN'T JUST "GIT ADD" EVERYTHING YOU SEE! The absolute AUDACITY of developers trying to version control compiled files, logs, and compressed archives! Meanwhile, .gitignore is standing there like the responsible adult at the party, desperately trying to save your repo from becoming a 9GB MONSTROSITY. It's the digital equivalent of your mom stopping you from bringing home every single rock you found at the beach. THANK GOD someone's being the voice of reason in this relationship!

If It Works, Don't Touch It

If It Works, Don't Touch It
The only programming advice that's simultaneously the most valuable and the most terrifying. Nothing says "professional developer" quite like maintaining a codebase held together by digital duct tape and the collective fear of the entire engineering team. The unspoken rule of software development isn't about elegant architecture or clean code—it's about the sacred art of not messing with that one function nobody understands but somehow makes everything work . That mysterious block of code is like a digital Jenga tower—touch the wrong piece and the whole sprint becomes a spectacular disaster. Technical debt? More like technical mortgage with predatory interest rates.

Passwords Be Like...

Passwords Be Like...
The evolution of password requirements is the digital equivalent of Stockholm syndrome. First panel: the classic "admin/password" combo – practically leaving your front door wide open with a neon sign saying "Rob me!" Second panel: When sites force you to use those ridiculous l33t-speak substitutions that nobody can remember. "Is that a zero or an O? Was it an @ or an a?" Third panel: The modern password hellscape requiring uppercase, lowercase, numbers, symbols, your firstborn child, and a blood sacrifice. Final panel: The galaxy brain move of swapping username and password. Security by absurdity – hackers would never think to try it! And yet some production server somewhere is absolutely running with these credentials right now.

Git Commit M Please Work This Time

Git Commit M Please Work This Time
The eternal struggle of naming Git commits... One minute you're coding like a genius, the next you're staring at the terminal like it's the Da Vinci Code. Your brain suddenly forgets all vocabulary except "fix stuff" and "update things." And let's be honest, half our commit history reads like desperate prayers: "please_work_now," "final_fix_i_swear," "kill_me." The beautiful irony is we spend hours crafting elegant code but can't be bothered to document what the hell we actually changed. Future you will definitely understand what "asdfghjkl" meant six months from now!

Monorepos Before It Was Cool

Monorepos Before It Was Cool
Sometimes you're not revolutionary, just disorganized. That company with a single massive repo wasn't practicing "advanced DevOps strategy" - they just never figured out how to separate concerns. Now tech bros are calling it "monorepo architecture" and writing Medium articles about it. Congratulations, your technical debt just became a LinkedIn certification.

This Is A Cry For Help I Don't Know How To Write Comments

This Is A Cry For Help I Don't Know How To Write Comments
Who needs comments when your function name is your documentation? That ridiculously long Python function name isn't just a coding style - it's a desperate cry from a developer who'd rather write a novel in snake_case than add a single /* comment */. The best part? Six months later, even they won't remember what the hell that function actually does. Future maintainers will find your LinkedIn just to send hate mail.

The Sacred Cow Of Programming

The Sacred Cow Of Programming
The sacred cow of programming – that mysterious piece of code nobody dares to refactor. You know the one: written by someone who left the company three years ago, held together by digital duct tape and prayers, yet somehow powering the entire production environment. The moment you even think about "improving" it, everything catches fire. So we all silently agree to just... back away slowly. No documentation? No comments? No problem – as long as it keeps spitting out the right numbers.

But The Code Does Work

But The Code Does Work
The hard truth nobody wants to hear during code reviews. That spaghetti mess of nested if-statements and global variables might run without crashing, but so does a car with no oil... for a while. The junior dev's favorite defense "but it works on my machine" meets its philosophical nemesis. Sure, your duct-taped monstrosity passes the tests today, but wait until 3am when production is burning and future-you is cursing past-you's name while downing the fifth espresso. Technical debt doesn't charge interest—it sends loan sharks.