Always Test In Production

Content mrsteinberg.com JANUARY 1, 2020 SOFTWARE TESTS ARE FOR MILLIONAIRES Until you are making a million a year in revenue, it is a waste of time to write tests. Your startup is going to change so much. Everything is so uncertain and failing. It makes no sense to do anything that does not directly impact revenue until you are making good money. Run though your servicesiteapp manually as a user sure. Fix the bugs that are worth fixing. You have years to refine your block of marble into David, for now just take out the big, easy chunks. Don't fall into a tech geek stereotype of always starting and never finishing. Claiming everything must be polished and tested and documented is the worst form of procrastination because it makes it sound important and a valuable use of your time. ProdrammerHumor.io

You know you've reached peak senior dev status when your team watches you debug like you're defusing a bomb. No fancy IDE features, no AI copilots—just you, a console, and the raw determination to prove you still remember how to code without autocomplete. The collective anxiety is palpable. They're all thinking "please don't break production" while you're manually stepping through code like it's 1995. Meanwhile, you're sweating because you forgot where you put that semicolon and your pride won't let you admit you should probably just use the debugger. Bonus points if you're doing this in prod because "it's just a small fix" and now everyone's Slack status just changed to "watching nervously."

Oh my god, which developer forgot to remove their code comments from the production build?! 😂 Someone literally pushed the entire explanation of what the notification is supposed to do... IN THE ACTUAL NOTIFICATION ! That poor soul is probably hiding under their desk right now while the senior devs are hunting them down. This is what happens when you code at 3 AM fueled by nothing but energy drinks and desperation! The best part is they even commented the comment! It's like comment-ception!

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That perfect synchronicity of hitting deploy and immediately getting a notification is the universe's way of saying "you forgot something critical." It's like Murphy's Law of Deployment—your phone will only ring with an urgent issue the exact microsecond your finger leaves the deploy button. The code was perfect in dev, passed all tests, survived code review... but somehow you can feel that production is about to catch fire. Time to prepare your "working on a fix" message while frantically scanning logs!

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