Facepalm Memes

Posts tagged with Facepalm

When Your Customer's House Is On Fire But They Call Tech Support First

When Your Customer's House Is On Fire But They Call Tech Support First
Picture it: 1999, dial-up era, when connecting to the internet sounded like robots screaming into the void. A customer's ACTUAL HOUSE is literally engulfed in flames, smoke billowing, everything going up like a bonfire—and what does this absolute legend do? Call tech support to ask if the ISP's servers are on fire because, you know, his computer is producing smoke and flames. The logic? "I'm connected to your internet, therefore YOUR servers must be the problem." The sheer commitment to troubleshooting while your house burns down around you is honestly peak tech support customer energy. Forget evacuating, forget calling 911 yourself—no, no, the REAL emergency is whether the dial-up provider's infrastructure is experiencing thermal issues. The tech had to literally grab the marketing director and be like "CALL 911 NOW, NOT A DRILL." This is the kind of customer interaction that makes you question everything about humanity and also explains why every tech support script starts with "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" Because apparently we need to add "Is your house on fire?" to the checklist.

Which Algorithm Is This

Which Algorithm Is This
When AI confidently solves a basic algebra problem by literally evaluating the equation as code. The sister was 3 when you were 6, so the age difference is 3 years. Fast forward 64 years and... she's still 3 years younger. But no, ChatGPT decided to execute 6/2 and 3+70 as literal expressions and proudly announced "73 years old" like it just solved the Riemann hypothesis. This is what happens when you train an LLM on Stack Overflow answers without the comment section roasting bad logic. The AI saw those angle brackets and thought "time to compile!" instead of "time to think." Our jobs might be safe after all, fam. At least until AI learns that relationships between numbers don't change just because you put them in a code block.

Full Potential

Full Potential
Someone out there really thought the clipboard was stored in the mouse itself. Like, physically. In the mouse. They unplugged it, walked it over to another computer like they were transferring a USB drive full of sensitive data, and expected the paste to just... work. You spend years building elegant systems, optimizing algorithms, architecting cloud infrastructure—and then reality slaps you with a user who thinks peripherals are portable storage devices. The "100% of our brain" question hits different when you realize some people are operating at like 3% and still managing to turn on a computer. Support tickets like these are why we drink.

What An Odd Choice

What An Odd Choice
Tell me you don't understand computer science without telling me you don't understand computer science. Some tech journalist really looked at 256 and thought "wow, what a random, quirky number!" Meanwhile every programmer within a 50-mile radius just felt their eye twitch. For those blissfully unaware: 256 is 2^8, which means it's literally THE most natural limit in computing. It's the number of values you can represent with a single byte (0-255, or 1-256 if you're counting from 1 like a normal human). WhatsApp's engineers didn't sit in a room throwing darts at numbers—they picked the most obvious, efficient, byte-aligned limit possible. The real tragedy? Someone got paid to write that article while having zero clue about binary numbers. Meanwhile, we're all debugging segfaults for free.

Sales Guy Found Chat GPT

Sales Guy Found Chat GPT
Oh boy, someone gave the sales guy access to ChatGPT and he immediately built a "caffeine intake calculator for the world to see" running on localhost:8000. Because nothing says "global deployment" like a development server that only works on your own machine. The best part? He's proudly announcing it on LinkedIn like he just launched the next unicorn startup. Meanwhile, every developer in the comments is screaming internally because localhost literally means "only accessible on YOUR computer, buddy." It's like building a restaurant in your basement and wondering why customers aren't showing up. Pro tip for our entrepreneurial friend: before you revolutionize the world with your AI-generated app, maybe learn the difference between localhost and an actual deployed URL. But hey, at least we know he's consuming 495mg of caffeine per day—he's gonna need it when the devs explain networking basics to him.

What Was The Actual Dumbest Thing You Did To Your PC

What Was The Actual Dumbest Thing You Did To Your PC
So you tried to create a new account and used the same password as your existing account? Congratulations, you just discovered the most efficient way to lock yourself out of your own PC. The Mona Lisa reaction perfectly captures that moment when your brain realizes it outsmarted itself. Nothing says "professional IT person" quite like being defeated by your own password reuse strategy. The best part? You probably have this password written down somewhere, but good luck finding it now.

The Public Private Key Paradox

The Public Private Key Paradox
The greatest cryptographic catastrophe of our time! Someone just mistook Lady Gaga's keyboard-smashing tweet from 2012 as their private SSH key and posted it publicly with the "BEGIN PRIVATE KEY" header. That's like leaving your house key under a doormat labeled "DEFINITELY NOT A KEY HERE." Any security engineer seeing this is simultaneously laughing and having heart palpitations. The irony of labeling something as private while broadcasting it to the entire internet is just *chef's kiss* perfect.

The World's Most Traceable Threat Actor

The World's Most Traceable Threat Actor
Nothing says "I'm a master of cybersecurity" quite like confessing your villainous plans on a public forum with CCTV footage of your face in the background. This ethical hacker's manifesto has the strategic brilliance of using your real identity to announce you're about to commit felonies because *checks notes* bug bounties aren't lucrative enough. The irony is just chef's kiss – complaining about companies underpaying security experts while simultaneously demonstrating why they probably shouldn't pay you at all. Pro tip: If your "ethical" hacking career isn't working out, maybe don't pivot to crime on camera? Just a thought.

November 18th 2025: A Developer Story

November 18th 2025: A Developer Story
Ah, the classic "fix Cloudflare by pushing to GitHub" scenario. Because nothing says "I understand how infrastructure works" like pushing code changes to fix a third-party CDN outage. It's like trying to fix a power outage by changing the lightbulb. Somewhere, a DevOps engineer is silently screaming while a junior dev proudly announces they've "solved the problem" right before the entire internet magically comes back online on its own.

Your Password Complexity Is: Nonexistent

Your Password Complexity Is: Nonexistent
When your security team spends millions on a high-tech surveillance system but sets the password to the name of the building... classic. Somewhere a security consultant is having a stroke right now. It's like putting your house key under the doormat and wondering why you got robbed. Next they'll tell us the admin username was "admin" and the backup plan was a guard with a flashlight who fell asleep. Billion-dollar art collection, five-cent password policy.

Apple Forgot To Disable Production Source Maps On The App Store Web App

Apple Forgot To Disable Production Source Maps On The App Store Web App
The trillion-dollar company that makes privacy its selling point just handed out their source code like it's free candy at a tech conference. Source maps in production is the digital equivalent of leaving your house keys under the doormat with a neon sign pointing to them. Some developer is getting a strongly worded Slack message right about now. For the uninitiated: source maps are files that link minified/compiled code back to the original source, meant for debugging but absolutely not for showing your competitors how your app works. It's like publishing your diary but forgetting to tear out the pages where you wrote down all your secrets.

Primary Key Catastrophe

Primary Key Catastrophe
When your database design meets reality in the most painful way possible. Someone actually made AGE a primary key instead of, you know, something unique like an ID. Now every 17-year-old on the platform is technically the same person. Congrats, you've invented digital reincarnation! Next up: using "favorite_color" as a password hash.