Ah, the feeling of tanking a production server.

Content Programmer - Translation Guide What Progammers Say What Progammers Mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Temporary workaround Horrible hack that I wrote It's broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues obscure There are bugs in my code Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome It's my favorite language and it's really easy to language do something in it You're thinking in the It's my favourite language and it's really hard wrong mindset to do something in it I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Complex structure Someone else's code is badly organised My code is badly organised Bug Out of scope The absence of a feature I like The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution It works and I understand it We need to rewrite it It works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how X Cquit ESCIESCTC I don't know how to quit vi Suboptimal implementation The worst errors ever inflicted on humankind That can't be done It can be done, but it's boring and I don't want to do it No problem, people do this all the time. It's an easy fix. You might be the most idiotic person I've ever encountered Put that bug in the backlog Let's agree nobody ever mentions it again and with low priority ppl who do, will be shot These test environments are too brittle Proof-of-Concept Works on my machine. Have you tried restarting it? What I wrote Perfect solution How Sales Marketing are promoting it

Content Ash system.out memeln( ) guys literally only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting 2017-10-22, 1:56 AM All 22307 tests passed - 681 ms optjavajdk1.8.0121binjava Compiled with 0 errors and 0 warnings Process finished with exit code 0

Content YOU CAN'T GIVE HER THAT! IT'S NOT SAFE! production credentials IT'S Admin THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE. SHE'S A junior IT'S EDUCATIONAL. WHAT IF SHE causes an outage? THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON ProarammerHumor.io

Content El AceLewis my first calculator py Watch Star 612 Fork 80 Code Issues 25 M Pull requests 2 I Projects 0 Bd Wiki D Security li. Insights myfirstcalculator.py D 13 commits is 1 branch 0 releases 11 4 contributors Branch: mas PLAY New pull request Create new file Upload files Find file Clone or download y AceLewis Merge branch 'master' of https:github.comAceLewismyfirstcalcula.. Latest commit a7aabea on Mav 16. 2016 B gitattributes Added gitattributes gitignore files 4 years ago B gitignore Added gitattributes gitignore files 4 years ago B README.md E generator.py myfirst calculator.py B my first calculator 0 to1000. 20823 lines (20818 sloc) 753 Recommended from future import division 4 years ago -ES You're using jump to definition to myfirstcalculator.py by Acelewis TODO: Make it work for all floating point numbers too if 32 1: Because Python 2 does not know maths input raw input Python 2 compatibility print ('Welcome to this calculator!") print('It can add, subtract, multiply and divide whole numbers from num1 - int (input ('Please choose your first number: )) sign input ('What do you want to do? , -, , or num2 int (input ('Please choose your second number: if numl 0 and sign print("00 0") if num 0 and sign print ("01 1") if num 0 and sign print ("02 2") if num so and sien print("03 3") and num and num2 and num print ("5042 2100") if num1 50 and sign He 20806 print ("5043 2150") 20807 if num as 50 and sign 20808 print ("5044 2200") 20809 if num1 as 50 and sign as 45: 20810 print ("5045 2250) 20811 if numl 50 and sign and mm 46: 20812 print ("5046 2300") 20813 if num 50 and sign a and numbe print ("5047 2350") 20815 20816 20817 20818 20819 20820 20821 20822 if num 50 and sign s and num2 48 print ("5048 2400") if num 50 and Sign sand num print ("5049 2450") if num 50 and sign and num2 print ("5050 2500") print ("Thanks for using this calculator, goodbye :)")

Content Brenan Keller brenankeller A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 99999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a ueicksidhd. First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone.

Content And you've got a lot of errors for someone who likes code Compiler I don't like code, I love it. Compiler And if I don't love it, I don't compile it.