When AI Becomes Your Security Consultant

The first part of this authentication function is actually doing its job—checking if the password matches. But then comes the security masterpiece: if (true == true) . Congratulations, you've created the digital equivalent of a bouncer who checks your ID and then lets you in anyway because "yep, gravity still works!" This function will authenticate literally anyone who gets past the first check... or fails it and just keeps trying. Security experts hate this one weird trick!

Look at all these fancy apps you're allowed to install, and the IT admin's like "But for coding? Notepad++ is all you need, buddy!" That's like giving a chef a plastic knife and saying "What? It cuts, doesn't it?" Meanwhile, developers at other companies are using the coding equivalent of a fully-equipped kitchen with robot assistants. Nothing says "we value your productivity" quite like forcing you to code without syntax highlighting, auto-completion, or debugging tools. But hey, at least you've got Chrome to Google "how to quit job without burning bridges."

Google's corporate evolution in one image. Started with "Don't Be Evil" in 2004, now apparently pivoting to "Killbots For Sale" by 2025. Typical tech company lifecycle - begin with idealistic college dorm room philosophy, end with weaponized AI that can efficiently terminate human life. Progress, I guess? Shareholders must be thrilled. Nothing says "increased quarterly earnings" like autonomous killing machines. Just waiting for the AWS Terminator instance pricing page to drop.

The CS student proudly shows off their "Weather App" running on localhost (127.0.0.1:5500), completely oblivious that they just broadcast their IP address to the world. Except... it's just localhost! The commenter with the skull emoji thinks they've caught someone making a rookie security mistake, but they're actually the one who needs to brush up on networking basics. That IP is just pointing to their own computer—like trying to prank call yourself. Every developer's machine has this address. It's the digital equivalent of saying "I live at Home Street, in House City."

Somewhere in an alternate universe, browser makers actually considered user experience over ad revenue. Imagine a world where you set your cookie preferences ONCE instead of clicking "Reject All" 47 times per day like some deranged cookie-hating woodpecker. But no—that would be too convenient. The suits had a good laugh about that one before going back to their champagne and "innovative monetization strategies." Meanwhile, the rest of us are trapped in cookie banner hell, our fingers developing repetitive strain injuries from declining tracking on the same sites we visited yesterday.

The ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE of being a programmer in public! One second you're innocently sliding down the playground, and BOOM—suddenly you're bombarded with tech support requests, million-dollar app ideas, and casual requests to commit federal crimes! 💀 The audacity of people thinking "programmer" means "free IT department, startup incubator, and hacker-for-hire" all rolled into one! Next time someone asks you to "just hack Facebook real quick," remember that prison orange is NOT your color, sweetie!