The Ethical Hacker's Retirement Plan

Ubisoft trying to control your physical game copies is like trying to delete water with a fork. Sure, they can demand you destroy your discs when their servers shut down, but meanwhile, gamers have been quietly making backups since the dawn of time. It's the digital equivalent of telling someone to burn their book while they're standing in their personal library with 50 copies. Corporate DRM fantasies vs. reality: Round 1,254,789... and DRM still hasn't won a single match.

The ultimate business model: create the problem, then sell the solution. Antivirus companies have mastered capitalism's final boss level. You know what's funnier than the meme? The fact that McAfee is basically impossible to uninstall once it's on your system. That's not a bug—it's a revenue feature. After 15 years in security, I'm convinced half these companies are just running protection rackets with better marketing departments. "Nice computer you got there... shame if something happened to it."

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of cybersecurity teams! 😱 When you're desperately wandering around like a blind Bart Simpson trying to get help with actual security issues, they're NOWHERE to be found! But the MILLISECOND you name a test variable "test_secret" in some throwaway file that will never see production? SUDDENLY they've got NASA-grade telescope vision and are BREATHING DOWN YOUR NECK like you've just committed high treason against the state! The audacity! The drama! The sheer ridiculousness of it all! Meanwhile your actual security concerns are collecting dust somewhere in ticket purgatory. #SecurityTheaterAtItsFinest

Someone searching for "c++ c style strings" with SafeSearch turned OFF. Just like C strings with no bounds checking, this search is about to overflow with exactly the kind of memory corruption you weren't expecting. Nothing says "living dangerously" like null-terminated arrays and unfiltered search results.

Ah, the classic parting gift from an unpaid intern - committing the API key directly to the .env file in their final act of corporate sabotage. Nothing says "thanks for the experience" like leaving a production credential in the version control history. Future security auditors will speak of this moment with reverence.

Ah, the duality of random number generation! The top panel shows the proper way—importing libraries like random , time , or os to generate proper pseudo-random numbers with good entropy. The bottom panel reveals the chaotic evil approach—hardcoding your "random" generator without external input, which is basically just saying return 4 because it was randomly chosen by fair dice roll. Guaranteed to be random! The twisted face in the second panel perfectly captures the deranged energy of a developer who thinks Math.floor(Math.random() * 6) + 1 is too much work and opts for const getRandomNumber = () => 4; instead. Cryptographers are screaming somewhere.