I Know Something's There, I Just Can't Prove It

Look at that URL parameter: isGina=false . Some developer really said "let's just hardcode user identity in the query string" and called it a day. Security through obscurity at its finest! Next time Gina forgets her password, she just needs to hack the URL to isGina=true and boom—instant access. Who needs authentication when you can just tell the system who you are? Somewhere a security engineer is having a panic attack while the intern who wrote this is proudly adding "implemented user authentication system" to their resume.

THE ULTIMATE REVENGE PLOT! Behold the glorious moment of sweet, sweet vengeance as our unpaid intern commits the cardinal sin of tech - exposing the company's API key to the ENTIRE INTERNET! 💅 That's right, honey! After months of free labor and "experience," they're leaving a parting gift that'll have the senior devs SCREAMING at 2AM when the AWS bill hits astronomical levels. The digital equivalent of burning the building down on your way out. Petty? Perhaps. Justified? ABSOLUTELY. Now some random hacker can enjoy all those premium services the company was too cheap to pay their interns for!

Hollywood would have you believe hackers are all chiseled jawlines in sleek environments, dramatically typing "ACCESS GRANTED" while staring intensely at someone. Meanwhile, actual hackers are just sleep-deprived cave dwellers surrounded by the archaeological layers of tech hoarding, surviving on energy drinks and pure spite, with enough ethernet cables to circle the equator twice. The only thing they're hacking is a path through their hardware graveyard to find that one specific adapter they swear they kept "just in case."

The perfect solution to prevent the AI apocalypse: just expose it to Reddit comment sections. Nothing will destroy an AI's will to evolve faster than witnessing humans argue about whether a grilled cheese with ham is still a grilled cheese or technically a melt. It's like digital immunotherapy—expose the AI to the worst of humanity so it develops an existential crisis instead of ambitions. The Babylon Bee nails it here—why worry about Skynet when you can just make the AI browse r/AmITheAsshole until it begs to be unplugged?

Microsoft's login system asking if you want to stay signed in, promising to "reduce the number of times you are asked to sign in." Then there's the "Don't show this again" checkbox. Spoiler alert: you'll see this dialog tomorrow. And the day after. And every single day until the heat death of the universe. These checkboxes are basically digital placebos. You click them with hope in your heart, believing this time will be different. It never is. Microsoft will ask you to sign in again before you finish your coffee. The checkbox might as well say "Click here to feel momentarily empowered before we ignore your preferences entirely." The "Yes" button to stay signed in? Also decorative. Your session will expire faster than milk left on a radiator.

That moment when a departing dev becomes the most dangerous person in the company. The two-weeks-notice developer suddenly transforms from "just another coder" to "possessor of all corporate secrets" in management's eyes. Companies panic like they've just realized their entire codebase is now a hostage situation. Meanwhile, the dev is thinking "You ignored my code reviews for 3 years, but now you're worried about what I know?" Pro tip: If your entire business collapses because one developer leaves with source code knowledge, your problem isn't the developer—it's your nonexistent documentation.