antivirus Memes

I Play Both Sides So I Come Out On Top
Security Programming
9 days ago 73.4K views 0 shares
I Play Both Sides So I Come Out On Top
The ultimate business model: create the problem, then sell the solution. Antivirus companies have mastered capitalism's final boss level. You know what's funnier than the meme? The fact that McAfee is basically impossible to uninstall once it's on your system. That's not a bug—it's a revenue feature. After 15 years in security, I'm convinced half these companies are just running protection rackets with better marketing departments. "Nice computer you got there... shame if something happened to it."

McCafé Won't Fix Your McVirus
Security Windows Debugging
10 days ago 61.7K views 0 shares
McCafé Won't Fix Your McVirus
The ultimate case of mistaken identity! This person confused McDonald's McCafé coffee with McAfee antivirus software and is genuinely upset their computer still has viruses after buying coffee. It's like trying to fix your car by eating a wrench. Next up: buying Apple products to keep doctors away and installing Windows to improve home ventilation. The desperate cry of "I buy your product & my PC still has virus" is peak tech support nightmare fuel—somewhere a McAfee engineer is screaming into their actual coffee.

The McAfee Hostage Situation
Security Windows
16 days ago 72.3K views 0 shares
The McAfee Hostage Situation
The AUDACITY of McAfee antivirus! First it barges into your computer like an uninvited relative, then it has the NERVE to become the very threat it swore to destroy! 💀 It's the digital equivalent of hiring a bodyguard who follows you around screaming "DANGER! DANGER!" while simultaneously pickpocketing you and eating all your snacks. Your CPU is literally BEGGING for mercy while McAfee decides your computer isn't running slow enough yet. And the uninstall process? Honey, that's not an uninstall—that's a hostage negotiation with your own hardware! 🙄

Hackerman: When Hello World Is Too Dangerous
C++ Security Microsoft Windows Programming
25 days ago 90.2K views 0 shares
Hackerman: When Hello World Is Too Dangerous
When your antivirus flags a "Hello World" program as malware. That moment when Visual Studio thinks your perfectly innocent C++ code is actually a sophisticated cyber attack. The compiler's paranoia level is over 9000! Meanwhile, you're just sitting there like a misunderstood genius whose revolutionary "print" statement is clearly too powerful for this world. Security systems trembling before the might of your semicolons.

Wow, Thanks For The Advice!
Security Windows StackOverflow Linux
26 days ago 75.7K views 0 shares
Wow, Thanks For The Advice!
The classic "just use Linux" response in its purest form. Someone desperately reaches out for antivirus recommendations, and the tech community's solution? "Common sense is the best antivirus" – right before watching them drown in malware. It's like telling someone who can't swim that "not drowning is the best swimming technique." Thanks for the life-changing wisdom, Reddit security experts! I'm sure that advice will come in handy when grandma clicks on that Nigerian prince email.

True Pirate Of The Digital Seas
Security Networking Programming
1 month ago 83.7K views 0 shares
True Pirate Of The Digital Seas
From fictional pirate to actual digital pirate. John McAfee, the chaotic neutral of tech, went from creating antivirus software to becoming the very thing he swore to destroy. Started a security empire, then spent years on the run dodging taxes and authorities while tweeting cryptocurrency advice from yachts. The man literally had "not today" tattooed on his arm when it came to paying the government. If Jack Sparrow had a CompSci degree, he'd absolutely be running some sketchy blockchain startup from international waters.

Windows Defender's Selective Protection
Windows Security Microsoft Android Programming
1 month ago 106.7K views 0 shares
Windows Defender's Selective Protection
Windows Defender standing there with arms wide open, completely ignoring the barrage of threats raining down on poor Android Studio. Classic Microsoft security theater at its finest. That's why we all end up installing third-party antivirus software despite Windows swearing its Defender is all we need. Meanwhile, Android Studio just lies there, exhausted from consuming 32GB of RAM and still asking for more.

How The Turntables: The McAfee Legacy
Security Microsoft Windows Programming Debugging
1 month ago 102.4K views 1 shares
How The Turntables: The McAfee Legacy
The ultimate corporate irony. McAfee, the company that's supposed to protect your computer, managed to crash the entire world with a botched update in 2010. Then their CTO bounces to start CrowdStrike—which is now a cybersecurity giant worth billions. For those who don't know the backstory: that 2010 update misidentified a critical Windows file as malware and deleted it from thousands of computers worldwide. Corporate networks collapsed. Hospitals went offline. Absolute chaos. Fast forward to today, and CrowdStrike is doing the exact same thing but with fancier marketing slides. The circle of tech life continues...

Calm down antiviruses
Programming
7 months ago 25.8K views 0 shares
Calm down antiviruses | program-memes, virus-memes, antivirus-memes, ide-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content X virus malware a AntiVir AVG avast! trojan i sleep Compile program on IDE fo3 Build Compile current file Run Build and run 42 Rebuild Clean Ctri-F9 CtrI-Shift-F9 CtrI-F10 F9 CtrI-F11 AntiVir AVG avast! real suit

Which Level Are You At
Programming
1 year ago 17.3K views 0 shares
whichLevelAreYouAt | virus-memes, antivirus-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Making Antiv Making virus Making virus to sell antivirus putting virus in pirated games putting virus in free antivirus putting virus in paid antivirus

Times are Changing Guys
Linux Backend
2 years ago 11.9K views 0 shares
Times are Changing Guys | developer-memes, software-memes, virus-memes, antivirus-memes, git-memes, github-memes, security-memes, ssl-memes, ide-memes, language-memes, product-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content GitHub to replace "master" with alternative term, the main branch will now be referred to as 'Senpai' uwu GitHub getting on board legitimizes movement aimed at removing racially-charged language from software. a in F f By Catalin Cimpanu I June 14, 2020 - 12:11 GMT (05:11 PDT) TopIC: Developer MORE FROM CATALIN CIMPANU Security Lamphone attack lets threat actors recover conversations from vour light bulb Security Russia says Germany has not provided any evidence of Bundestag Security Stalkerware detection rates are improving across antivirus products GitHub is working on replacing the term "master" on its service with a neutral term like "main" to avoid any unnecessary references to Frocrammersumor.to - TECHREPUBLIC Security Italian company exposed

Dave
Programming
2 years ago 37.4K views 0 shares
Dave | software-memes, virus-memes, antivirus-memes, encryption-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content ADATAA SECURITY IN THIS CORNER, WE HAVE FIREWALLS, ENCRYPTION, ANTIVIRUS SOFTWARE, ETC AND IN THIS CORNER, HUMAN ERROR www.jklossner.com Colo KOssiet ProdrammerHumor.io