Australia Thinks GitHub Is As Risky For Kids As TikTok

The hierarchy of developer validation is hilariously backwards. 1000 Instagram followers? Meh. 100 Twitter followers? Whatever. 5 Reddit followers? Now we're talking. But 1 GitHub follower? ABSOLUTE GODMODE ACTIVATED. That single GitHub follower means someone actually values your code enough to stalk your digital creations. It's like having a secret admirer who's into your algorithms instead of your looks. Essentially the programming equivalent of being chosen by the cool kids. Meanwhile, your mom still thinks you "fix computers" for a living.

Jumping into DevOps without Linux fundamentals is like trying to swallow those giant horse pills without water. Trust me, I've watched countless "Docker experts" crash and burn because they couldn't troubleshoot a basic shell script. The title "Also Git" is perfect - because Git is another one of those deceptively simple tools that will absolutely wreck your week when something goes wrong. Nothing quite like the cold sweat of a botched rebase on production code at 2AM. Been there, broken that.

Someone just discovered they've been using 'Write' mode instead of 'Append' mode and nuked their entire Program.cs file. The kind of mistake that makes you stare at your screen in silence for a solid minute before checking if you committed recently. Spoiler: they probably didn't. File I/O operations have claimed another victim, and somewhere a senior dev is whispering "this is why we use version control" into the void.

Oh. My. GOD! The absolute DRAMA of it all! Microsoft proudly announces that 30% of their code is now AI-generated, and then BOOM! 💥 Git operations are failing EVERYWHERE! It's like watching a corporate horror movie unfold in real-time! The grim reaper couldn't have timed his entrance better! One minute they're bragging about AI writing their code, and the next minute their Git operations are having an existential crisis. Coincidence? I think NOT! This is what happens when you replace human developers with AI that learned to code by copying StackOverflow answers without reading the comments! Reset the counter indeed—we've gone exactly ZERO days without a Microsoft AI disaster. The skeleton is all of us watching our repositories crumble while Microsoft's PR team frantically tries to explain that AI definitely wasn't responsible for this catastrophe. Sure, Jan. 🙄

The evolution of code sharing has reached its final form! First, we have GitHub - the standard way professionals share code. Then Google Drive - when you're desperate and don't know version control exists. Next level: taking a PICTURE of your code - the debugging equivalent of sending "pls fix" to your senior dev at 4:59pm on Friday. But the galaxy brain move? Reading your code aloud and publishing it as an audiobook on Amazon. Imagine listening to someone monotonously reciting "for i equals zero semicolon i less than array dot length semicolon i plus plus open curly brace" during your morning commute. That's not just programming - that's psychological warfare against humanity itself.

Oh honey, you sweet summer child recruiter. You think you're hiring ONE person? Bless your heart. You've basically listed the skill requirements for an entire Fortune 500 company's tech division and slapped "Full Stack Developer" on it like it's a cute little job title. Backend? Check. Frontend? Check. Three different databases because apparently one wasn't enough trauma? Check. The ENTIRE AWS ecosystem? Sure, why not! Oh and while we're at it, throw in system administration, containerization, orchestration, AND test-driven development because clearly this mythical unicorn developer has 47 hours in their day. The punchline hits different because it's TRUE. This isn't a job posting—it's a cry for help disguised as a LinkedIn post. They're not looking for a developer; they're looking for someone to BE the entire IT infrastructure while probably offering "competitive salary" (translation: $65k and unlimited coffee).