Bruh Who's Out Here Making Captchas Like This

Ah yes, the classic "let me check if your credit card is compromised by... *checks notes*... asking you to enter all your credit card details." The irony is thicker than legacy code documentation. This scam software brilliantly solves the problem of "is my credit card in a hacker's database?" by ensuring it definitely will be after you use it. Congratulations, your card wasn't in any hacker database until you voluntarily uploaded it to one. It's like asking a fox to guard your henhouse and then being surprised when chicken is on the menu.

The evolution of professional ethics in the digital age is... something else. Designers freak out when AI scrapes their artwork: "NO! THIS IS ILLEGAL!" Meanwhile, programmers hear that ChatGPT pillaged their GitHub repos and their first question is "Did it actually compile though?" Nothing captures the programmer mindset better than skipping past the copyright violation and jumping straight to "but does it work?" Because let's be honest - if ChatGPT can make sense of your spaghetti code, you might as well hire it.

The perfect double entendre doesn't exi-- Turns out HTTPS isn't just for websites anymore! That moment when your romantic partner asks if you have "protection" and you smugly whip out your SSL certificate. Because nothing says "I care about security" like encrypting your, uh, data transfers. The secure connection joke hits different when you've spent 12 hours debugging certificate issues. At least someone's getting a proper handshake tonight!

BREAKING NEWS: Tech giant discovers laws apply to them too! 😱 OpenAI dramatically declares the AI apocalypse is upon us if they can't vacuum up copyrighted works like my vacuum cleaner attacks dust bunnies under my desk! Meanwhile, car thieves everywhere are SHOCKED to discover their business model might be slightly problematic. The absolute AUDACITY of copyright holders wanting compensation for their work! What's next? Paying for groceries?! The horror! The drama! The completely reasonable legal expectations that somehow feel like persecution when you're a multi-billion dollar company! *faints dramatically onto keyboard*

OH. MY. GOD. The government is literally HEMORRHAGING money on VSCode licenses that are FREE FOR EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET! 💸💸💸 Imagine being the poor soul who authorized payment for 250 VSCode licenses when only 33 people are using them... and VSCode is literally FREE and OPEN SOURCE! This is tax dollars evaporating faster than my will to live during a Monday morning standup! 😱 But wait, it gets better! Those 5 cybersecurity licenses for 20K seats when they only have 15K employees? That's like buying a mansion for your pet rock! I simply cannot with this level of bureaucratic chaos! 🤦‍♀️

Ah, the future of security - where hackers don't even try to hide anymore! They just tweet your MFA code with a trendy hashtag. "Hey world, here's exactly how I'm breaking into someone's account right now! #VibeCoding #TotallyNotAHack" 👌 The best part? The timestamp is from 2025. Apparently in the future, hackers will be so confident they'll schedule their crimes in advance. Talk about work-life balance! And that verified checkmark really sells the legitimacy. Nothing says "trust me with your security" like paying $8 for a blue badge.