Am I Cooked?

Behold, the modern developer in their natural habitat! This isn't just coding—it's vibe coding . Who needs security best practices when you can just commit API keys directly to GitHub? It's like hiding your house key under the doormat, except the doormat is indexed by Google. Documentation? Tests? Please. Those are for developers who don't name their variables with the perfect aesthetic. Why write tests when you can spend three hours curating the perfect lo-fi playlist that you'll listen to while not writing tests? The true art form isn't solving problems—it's creating new PRs to fix your previous PRs while your IDE looks absolutely fabulous with that custom theme you spent a day configuring. And when everything is literally on fire? That's the perfect time to update your GitHub profile README. Priorities, people!

Ah, the funeral for uBlock Origin, scheduled for July 2025. Firefox is there pointing at the tombstone like "you seeing this?" while Chrome stands nearby looking suspiciously guilty. Google's plan to kill ad blockers with Manifest V3 is basically sending flowers to its own revenue stream. Firefox users just sitting here with popcorn watching Chrome users discover what the internet looks like without ad blocking. It's like watching someone experience pop-up ads for the first time since 2005.

When you spend years building an AI model only to have someone ctrl+c, ctrl+v your entire codebase. Welcome to the cutting-edge world of AI, where the most innovative technology is... *checks notes*... copying your competitor's homework and hoping the teacher doesn't notice. Silicon Valley's billion-dollar secret: sometimes the best R&D strategy is just "Download & Rebrand." DeepSeek apparently took "deep learning" to mean "deeply learning OpenAI's proprietary code."

Ah, the classic "intern with prod access" scenario – possibly the most terrifying combination since mixing regex and nuclear launch codes. The raccoon manning a golden machine gun perfectly captures that moment when the lowest-ranking team member somehow gets superuser privileges to the production environment. Everyone else has wisely evacuated the premises because they know what happens next: unreviewed code changes, accidental database drops, and configuration "improvements" that bring down the entire infrastructure. That raccoon's about to deploy straight to prod with the same chaotic energy it uses to raid garbage cans. Senior devs are probably hiding under their desks right now, frantically typing up their resumes while the on-call engineer contemplates a new career in organic farming.

Windows setup: "Almost done! Just need to finish configuring your system..." Me: *breathes in relief* OneDrive: *emerges with knife* "Did someone say they wanted their precious C:\ drive contents automatically synced to the cloud whether they like it or not?" The eternal struggle between wanting to just use your computer as a computer versus Microsoft's desperate need to assimilate your files into their cloud borg collective. The knife is just there to remind you that resistance is futile.

When your site finally works perfectly between you, the browser, and your hosting provider... but then Cloudflare throws a 5xx error and ruins everything! The classic three-way handshake of web development where two parties are happily consenting to serve content, but Cloudflare's like "nope, not today!" Fun fact: Cloudflare handles approximately 10% of all internet traffic, so when they say "I DON'T!" to your requests, a significant chunk of the internet feels that pain. It's basically the digital equivalent of planning a perfect date and having the restaurant bouncer refuse to let you in.