Please Leave Me Alone Borrow Checker

Ah, the classic programmer's solution to avoiding C and Rust—just go for pizza instead! After 15 years in the industry, I've learned that sometimes the best programming language is whatever's on the menu. Memory management giving you nightmares? Pointer errors making you question your career choices? Just order a Margherita and pretend those problems don't exist. The pizza-driven development methodology: where the only garbage collection you need to worry about is clearing your plate.

The top panel shows the Rust experience: find a library on crates.io, run one command, import it, and you're done. The stick figure even has their arms outstretched in celebration. Meanwhile, C++ is depicted as the ninth circle of dependency hell. Finding libraries across random websites, manually downloading tar files, and engaging in ritual combat with CMake until your build inevitably fails. The stick figures are literally hanging themselves in despair. And this is why some of us drink heavily before attempting to add external libraries to C++ projects.

Ah, the dependency economy strikes again! Nothing says "Make JavaScript Great Again" like slapping tariffs on all your package managers. 67% on NPM? That's how you end up with node_modules the size of Wyoming but still missing that one critical dependency. And Cargo at 90%? Rust developers about to start smuggling crates across the border. Meanwhile, Homebrew at just 14% is clearly the "very fine package manager on both sides." The only thing growing faster than these tariffs is your package-lock.json file.

OMG, someone actually created a programming language to write code for Scratch - you know, that block-based programming tool designed for CHILDREN! 💀 The absolute AUDACITY of creating a text-based compiler with Rust that outputs to Scratch! It's like building a rocket ship to drive to your mailbox! They even had the nerve to add GitHub Copilot support and error detection like it's some kind of serious development environment! Just look at that gorgeous code at the bottom - writing actual text to generate those cute little colorful blocks with the cat mascot. It's the programming equivalent of using a sledgehammer to hang a picture frame! I'm DYING! 😭

The endless cycle of programmer self-loathing continues! At 15, you're a Java hotshot thinking you're God's gift to computing. By 20, you've "evolved" to Python while cringing at your Java days. Then at 30, you're wielding C++ and Rust, looking back at your Python self with pure embarrassment. And the cycle continues... Future you is already facepalming at current you's tech choices. It's like each programming language is just another awkward yearbook photo waiting to happen.

The perfect self-burn doesn't exi— Oh wait, here it is! Reddit suggesting r/Rust is "Similar to r/ProgrammerHumor" while someone declares "Goodbye, C++. Rust is the future." is peak irony. The title "Both Subs Are For Jokes" is the chef's kiss - implying that Rust evangelism and programming humor are basically the same thing. Nothing says "I'm a serious developer" like religiously announcing the death of established languages. Memory safety or memory insanity? The line blurs when the Rust cult assembles.