Please Leave Me Alone Borrow Checker

A programmer's twist on the classic "what girls want" tweet! While the original tweet suggests girls want "commitment" (starts with C), our battle-scarred dev responds with the ultimate programmer dad joke: "Go and Rust are memory safer, but you do you." It's the perfect marriage of programming languages and dating humor. Sure, Go and Rust handle memory management safely, but C? That's living dangerously—manual memory allocation with no safety nets. Like dating someone who says "I don't believe in labels" on the first date. Segmentation faults in your code or your love life? Choose wisely.

The great Rust migration aftermath – where your perfectly functional C++ codebase transforms into a post-apocalyptic wasteland of broken parts. That moment when you stare at the carnage thinking, "But the Reddit thread said it would be memory-safe ." Meanwhile, your deadline was yesterday, your boss is questioning your life choices, and somewhere a Rust evangelist is typing "you probably just didn't understand the borrow checker" on a forum. Sure, no more segfaults... because nothing runs at all. Progress!

The ultimate irony of Rust developers! While they preach memory safety and zero-cost abstractions, this meme suggests they secretly want to replace your Linux machine with a rusty, abandoned computer case. It's a brilliant play on the word "rust" – both the programming language obsessed with preventing memory leaks and the actual oxidation process that's clearly consumed this poor PC. Rust evangelists are notorious for wanting to rewrite everything in their beloved language ("Rewrite it in Rust!"), but maybe we should draw the line at turning our hardware into actual rust. Your C++ code might have memory leaks, but at least it won't literally decompose your hardware!

Ah, the classic Rust bait-and-switch! The graph shows compile times staying blissfully flat until you hit that magical n-2 threshold, then it's straight to the stratosphere. Rust evangelists: "It's blazingly fast!" Reality: "Yeah, until you add that one more dependency and suddenly your coffee break turns into a lunch hour." The compiler is just sitting there thinking, "I'll let them feel smart for the first few packages... then BAM! Memory safety has a price, and that price is your afternoon."

Let's face it—no matter which programming language is your "baby," you're still a card-carrying member of Nerdville. Population: you and everyone else reading this. The only exception? MATLAB users who get the prestigious title of "engineer AND nerd." That extra badge doesn't make your code run any faster though, just means you paid more for your license. And poor FORTRAN devs are just "old and nerd"—like that vintage Star Wars t-shirt you refuse to throw away despite the holes. Still compiling on that machine from 1995, aren't you?

Ah, the Rust evangelism strike force in their natural habitat. Above ground, we have the beautiful C language basking in the sunlight, nurturing an ecosystem that's been thriving for decades. Meanwhile, underground, the Grim Reaper himself is filming a documentary about the angry Rust crab that's convinced everyone C programmers are just one null pointer dereference away from total system collapse. After 20 years in this industry, I've seen this movie before. Some poor C dev is just trying to climb out of the pit while Rust zealots are down there with their memory safety pitchforks and ownership model torches. Sure, my code segfaults occasionally, but at least I don't have to fight the borrow checker at 3 AM while questioning my career choices.