Electron With Extra Steps

OMG, the Rust evangelism strike force is at it AGAIN! 🦀 Look at these poor C/C++ developers being accosted by yet another Rust zealot preaching about memory safety like it's the second coming! The absolute DRAMA of it all! The Rust fanatic is literally HUNTING PEOPLE DOWN with a school bus to convert them! And that final panel? The resignation of developers who know they're about to endure a 45-minute lecture on why their favorite language is basically committing war crimes against computers. I'm DYING! 💀

The senior developer generation humoring the Gen Z developers who won't stop evangelizing about Rust and Go. "Yes dear, memory safety is revolutionary. No, we don't need to rewrite our entire codebase that's been running fine for 15 years." Meanwhile, the production server running on a 2005 PHP script held together with duct tape and prayers continues to outperform everything else.

The entire tech industry building massive, complex systems while Rust sits in the corner like that one tiny critical bolt holding everything together. Sure, let's keep piling more JavaScript frameworks on top while pretending our foundation isn't held together by some memory-safe code written by people who actually care about not segfaulting in production. That single Rust component is probably preventing half the internet from imploding on Tuesday afternoons.

Ah, the classic "let me put every tech sticker on my laptop" phase that somehow never ends. That sheet is basically a developer's Tinder profile - trying to impress everyone while secretly knowing half those technologies hate each other. VSCode and Rust living peacefully next to PHP and JavaScript is like putting cats and dogs in the same tiny apartment and expecting them to share the remote. That Go mascot at the bottom is just waiting for the chaos to unfold. It's the tech equivalent of wearing both Nike and Adidas to the same gym.

Ah, the dependency economy strikes again! Nothing says "Make JavaScript Great Again" like slapping tariffs on all your package managers. 67% on NPM? That's how you end up with node_modules the size of Wyoming but still missing that one critical dependency. And Cargo at 90%? Rust developers about to start smuggling crates across the border. Meanwhile, Homebrew at just 14% is clearly the "very fine package manager on both sides." The only thing growing faster than these tariffs is your package-lock.json file.

The funeral for C/C++ has been announced prematurely for decades now. Every few years, some shiny new language comes along and declares itself the "C++ killer" while C++ just smirks from its grave and continues powering literally everything from operating systems to game engines. Meanwhile, C/C++ developers are just chilling next to their own tombstone like "Oh no... anyway" while counting the performance gains their manual memory management provides. The language might be older than most developers using it, but it refuses to die with the stubbornness of that one legacy codebase no one wants to refactor.