Electron With Extra Steps

Ah, the classic IQ bell curve meme but with programming languages! The folks with average IQ (the middle hump) are obsessing over Rust's algebraic Hindley-Milner type system that's "statically verified at compile time!!!!" Meanwhile, both the low and high IQ programmers (the tails) have reached the same enlightened conclusion: "Types aren't even real." JavaScript and Assembly sitting at opposite ends but somehow agreeing is peak programming wisdom. After 15 years of debugging type errors, you eventually realize it's all just ones and zeros anyway. Why are we fighting over type systems when we could be fighting over tabs vs spaces like civilized people?

Ah yes, the entire digital world balanced precariously on a tiny Rust component. The tower of technical debt we've built would make the Tower of Babel look structurally sound. One small memory-safe language holding up billions in infrastructure and preventing the whole stack from imploding. No pressure. Just another day where we're all one misplaced semicolon away from digital armageddon. But hey, at least it's memory-safe.

The great Rust migration aftermath – where your perfectly functional C++ codebase transforms into a post-apocalyptic wasteland of broken parts. That moment when you stare at the carnage thinking, "But the Reddit thread said it would be memory-safe ." Meanwhile, your deadline was yesterday, your boss is questioning your life choices, and somewhere a Rust evangelist is typing "you probably just didn't understand the borrow checker" on a forum. Sure, no more segfaults... because nothing runs at all. Progress!

Rust evangelists: *screeching intensifies* when they discover 19.11% of Rust libraries use the unsafe keyword, while C++ sits smugly at the dinner table knowing it doesn't need to mark anything as unsafe because everything is potentially unsafe by default. It's like bragging about having 19.11% of your codebase labeled "might explode" while C++ just assumes you're smart enough to know the whole thing is a minefield. Memory safety theater at its finest!

Ah, the eternal C++ dilemma visualized as a horror movie choice! Standing at the crossroads of despair, our poor developer faces two equally terrifying paths: modernize that ancient codebase to C++23 (where templates will still haunt your dreams) or rewrite everything in Rust (and spend the next six months fighting with the borrow checker). Meanwhile, the legacy C++ codebase sits there, held together by duct tape and Stack Overflow answers from 2008. It's like choosing between getting punched in the face or kicked in the shins. No wonder C++ developers have that thousand-yard stare during code reviews.

BEHOLD! The sacred ritual of the unemployed coder! There they stand, fist raised dramatically to the heavens, as if writing "Hello World" in yet another language will somehow transform them from jobless keyboard warrior to tech billionaire overnight! The AUDACITY! The DRAMA! The sheer DELUSION that learning your 27th programming language will finally be the one that makes recruiters slide into your DMs! Meanwhile, their LinkedIn profile weeps silently in the corner as they ignore actual marketable skills to master printing text to a console in Rust. Revolutionary stuff, truly.