Dudes Who Learn Programming Will Turn Into One Of Four People

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Oh look, it's the classic "I'm totally protected" delusion! 🤣 The soldier (labeled "My code") is proudly standing there like "nothing to see here!" while completely ignoring that SQL injection attacks are LITERALLY RAINING DOWN on the poor database sleeping behind them. It's like putting up an umbrella with holes and saying "I'm dry!" Meanwhile, your database is getting absolutely drenched in malicious queries. Security by ignorance isn't a feature, it's a countdown to disaster! Your database is just lying there, accepting its tragic fate while you do jazz hands at the problem.

The classic gossip-turned-debugging scenario! Girl 1 whispers "I heard he doesn't print " with shock, only for Girl 2 to gasp "He does import logging "! It's that moment when you realize your colleague isn't a barbaric caveperson using print() statements to debug their code, but actually a sophisticated developer using proper logging practices. The programming equivalent of discovering someone uses a fork instead of eating spaghetti with their hands.

Oh, the classic corporate rebranding strategy! Water shooting uncontrollably from a broken pipe? Developers frantically point: "That's a catastrophic leak that'll flood the server room!" Meanwhile, Product Managers are already updating the pitch deck: "Behold our new dynamic hydration distribution system with multi-directional water feature!" Same disaster, fancier name, higher price tag. The eternal dance of software development where today's critical failure is tomorrow's premium offering if you just squint hard enough and use enough buzzwords.

Spending $3000 on a GPU but skimping on RAM is like buying a Ferrari and filling it with cooking oil. That judgmental stare is the universal response from anyone who's ever had to wait while your "beast machine" struggles to open more than two Chrome tabs. The audacity of bragging about ray tracing capabilities when your system can barely keep Discord running in the background.