The Optimization Paradox

Oh look, a scientific paper proving what we all suspected: our brains turn to mush when we outsource thinking to AI. The title is actually a hidden message – "Does LLMs Really Makes Us Dumb" – with the first letters spelling it out. Brilliant academic trolling right there. Those fancy brain scans? They're showing our neurons basically taking a vacation when using ChatGPT for essays. Seven MIT researchers spent grant money to scientifically confirm that copying AI homework makes you dumber. Could've just asked any TA grading freshman papers. Next groundbreaking study: water is wet, and Stack Overflow copy-paste makes junior devs forget how loops work.

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The corporate boardroom at NVIDIA is a special kind of hell. When the boss says "We need to make better GPUs," two executives immediately jump to the money-making strategies: "Add more AI upscaling features!" and "Make it £2000!" Meanwhile, the lone reasonable employee suggests "Maybe some more v-ram and price it fairly." Next frame: That employee gets defenestrated from the building. Because nothing says "valued team member" like being thrown through a window for suggesting consumer-friendly features instead of wallet-draining AI buzzwords. Fun fact: NVIDIA's latest GPUs cost more than my first car, but at least they can render my tears in real-time ray-traced 8K.