The L In LDAC Stands For Lies

Content Vishal VishalMalvi My father asked me, Have you changed your profession? Are you still a software developer? Me: why? My father: because you are always on a call in meetings. When do you code?

Content Nick Craver O NickCraver "Uber will use artificial intelligence to identify drunk passengers. It will use factors like time of day, pickup location, and how long a user interacts with the app before making a decision." That's not Al. That's an if statement. 3:59 PM 08 Jun 18 found on devrant.com posted by sachintripathi

Content ooo verizon 9:10 AM ooo Verizon 9:10 AM 1 1 ooo verizon What do you know about material design? Oct 19. 2016. 10:22 PM Enough to know that Blue 600 is 1885 hex codes are hot Damn bov let me GIT some of that So is lava wouldn't mind giving you a unit test Oh don't tease me like that hope you're agile, be this just became a standup meeting Onlv if I can call vou CSS cause I like vour style I hope we can merge without any conflicts Let's do a pull request so we can commit and make it official call me scrum master cause I'II find all vour use cases Do you approach your sprints in waterfalls because you're making me wet the time and cost don't matter as long as I can scope out that ass Oct 19. 2016. 11:12 PM Are vou enterprise architecture because I like vour structure and how you operate girl let me gather your requirements 9:10 AM 6 11 00 Oct 20, 2016, 7:52 AM fyi I'm sharing this convo with my coworkers Oh I'm 100 doing the same 20 87 AM hope you're ready to deploy this package Oct 20, 2016, 9:37 AM Wanna come over later because I got a few things I want to demo from mv local AM as long as you can debug my performance Cont Oct 20. 2016. 12:11 PM hopefully my user experience leaves vou satisfied GIF Tune a Message. GIF Tune a Messade GIF

The contrast here is absolutely brutal. Regular programmers get to proudly tell their past selves about their cool modern language, getting that sweet validation. Meanwhile, ABAP programmers? They're being hunted down by the Terminator himself. For context: ABAP (Advanced Business Application Programming) is SAP's proprietary language from the 1980s, still heavily used in enterprise resource planning systems. It's verbose, quirky, and let's just say it hasn't aged like fine wine. More like milk left out in the sun. The joke cuts deep because ABAP devs are stuck maintaining legacy systems that corporations refuse to modernize because "it works" and migration costs are astronomical. So while everyone else is playing with React hooks and Rust async, ABAP programmers are writing DATA: lt_table TYPE STANDARD TABLE OF... you get the idea. Walther Abap didn't invent ABAP (that was actually SAP founders), but the personification of their collective suffering into one target for time-traveling rage? Chef's kiss. 💀

The eternal tech support nightmare captured in six panels. Non-technical person asks if you're "good with computers," then immediately demands impossible magic like putting MP3s in a watch and talk radio with Frank Sinatra. When you try explaining the technical limitations, they just scream "DRAG AND DROP! DRAG AND DROP!" as if that's the universal solution to all computing problems. The perfect encapsulation of why programmers develop eye twitches when relatives call for "quick computer help."

Someone's having a full-blown existential crisis about their tech stack. The progression here is beautiful: starts with "uninstall Twitter" (reasonable), moves through deleting every developer tool known to humanity—VS Code, Docker, Node.js, Python, Git—and culminates in "sell my Macbook, buy a tractor, start farming." We've all been there after debugging for 6 hours straight or dealing with dependency hell. The fantasy of abandoning the digital world for a simple life where your only merge conflict is deciding which crops to rotate. But here's the kicker in the title: they've already paid for their 2026 annual subscriptions to all these tools they're planning to delete. GitHub Copilot? Paid. Claude API credits? Locked in. JetBrains All Products Pack? Non-refundable. So really, they're financially committed to suffering through at least one more year of npm install nightmares before they can escape to their agrarian paradise.