Jira: Literally A Stopper

The eternal standoff between reality and fantasy in tech projects. On the left, we have the engineer clutching their head in existential pain as they try to explain that physics, time, and sanity all prevent the feature from being delivered. Meanwhile, the PM on the right is smugly contemplating how to explain to the clients why the "definitely shipping next week" feature is now "coming soon™" for the third sprint in a row. It's the software development equivalent of watching someone promise they can build a rocket to Mars using only duct tape and stackoverflow answers while the aerospace engineer has a mental breakdown in the corner.

The ultimate self-service experience. Nothing quite like the pride of a tester who discovers they can fix their own bugs instead of filing a ticket and waiting six sprints for someone to look at it. That dog walking itself is basically QA saying "Fine, I'll do it myself" after the third time a dev responded with "works on my machine." The circle of software development life.

The eternal battle between developers and project managers continues! This meme perfectly captures the skepticism devs feel when a PM claims they're making life easier. In theory, PMs should shield developers from distractions and streamline workflows. In practice? They're often the ones introducing new tools, changing requirements mid-sprint, and asking "quick questions" that derail your entire afternoon of deep work. The silent stare in the third panel says everything a developer is thinking but can't say in the Slack channel. It's that universal "sure, Jan" moment that happens right before you get an invite to another "quick sync" that somehow lasts 90 minutes.

The only programming advice worth taking is the one you'll find on that little strip of wisdom: "IF IT WORKS, DON'T TOUCH IT." Nothing strikes more fear into a developer's heart than having to modify code that's somehow functioning despite violating every principle of software engineering. That magical spaghetti mess held together by duct tape and prayers? Yeah, that's staying exactly as is. The moment you try to "improve" it or "refactor" it, you'll unleash chaos that'll have you explaining to your boss why the entire production system is suddenly speaking Klingon. The unwritten 11th commandment of programming: thou shalt not mess with working code.

OH MY GOD, the AUDACITY of someone suggesting I should actually FIX a bug on a FRIDAY?! 💅 Honey, please! That's what GitHub issues were INVENTED for! Why would I risk my precious weekend sanity when I can just slap that bug with an issue label, dramatically push it to the backlog, and strut away like the procrastination royalty I am? Monday-Me can deal with that nightmare - Friday-Me is already mentally at happy hour! #SorryNotSorry

Oh honey, the AUDACITY! 💅 That skeptical side-eye is EXACTLY what happens when you try to convince auditors that your team actually reviews code! Like, sweetie, we both know those "code reviews" are just you and your work bestie typing "LGTM" faster than you can say "technical debt." The auditor's face is literally screaming "sure Jan" while mentally preparing the most scathing compliance report known to mankind. It's the corporate equivalent of telling your mom you cleaned your room when you just shoved everything under the bed!