Naming Memes

Posts tagged with Naming

Hello World Meet Baby I

Hello World Meet Baby I
Naming a child after spending a decade agonizing over variable names? Pure terror. The guy's already planning to name his kid 'i' – the universal loop counter that everyone understands but nobody explains. Ten years from now, the birth certificate will read "firstName = 'i'" with a comment that says "// Will refactor later" that never happens. And let's be honest, at least 'i' is better than 'temp1' or 'myAwesomeKid_final_FINAL_v2'.

Type Shit

Type Shit
Finally, someone defined the data structure we've all been dealing with for years! That's what happens when you let the junior dev name the interfaces after a late-night debugging session. The properties are surprisingly accurate though - viscosity and amount are definitely numbers you'd want to track, and color as a string makes perfect sense. Just waiting for someone to add the optional "smell" property in the next PR.

The Eternal Law Of Loop Variables

The Eternal Law Of Loop Variables
Non-programmers ask why we always use 'i' and 'j' as loop variables. The answer is simple: it's not a choice, it's a sacred tradition passed down since FORTRAN days. Using 'x' or 'counter' instead would probably summon a daemon that corrupts your Git history. Some programmers claim they've tried using different variables and mysteriously found their keyboards reprogrammed to only type 'i++' the next day. The compiler doesn't care, but the programming gods do.

The Evolution Of JavaScript Promises

The Evolution Of JavaScript Promises
JavaScript developers evolving their Promise syntax like it's Pokémon. First there was .convertToPromise() which nobody remembers using. Then came .makePromise() , the awkward teenage phase. But .promisify() ? That's the good stuff that makes developers bare their teeth in that special "I finally found the right utility function after 3 hours of Stack Overflow" grin.

The One Billionth Repository: A Monument To Programming Excellence

The One Billionth Repository: A Monument To Programming Excellence
When GitHub's 1 billionth repository is literally named "shit," you know humanity has peaked. Someone created a repo with the most profound name possible, and GitHub's automated system sent a congratulatory message hoping they "build some great 💩." The universe has a sense of humor after all – a billion repositories of human innovation, and the milestone belongs to a repo that perfectly summarizes most of our code anyway.

The L In LDAC Stands For Lies

The L In LDAC Stands For Lies
THE AUDACITY! LDAC stands for "Lossless Digital Audio Codec" but then has the absolute NERVE to use lossy compression?! It's like naming your diet soda "Zero Calories" and then finding out it has 50 calories per can! The shocked cat is literally all of us discovering this betrayal - eyes bulging with disbelief at the sheer marketing deception. This is why developers have trust issues, people! Nothing is sacred anymore, not even our audio codecs. The L in LDAC clearly stands for LIES.

Java Is To JavaScript As Car Is To Carpet

Java Is To JavaScript As Car Is To Carpet
The eternal battle continues! First person states the obvious: "JavaScript is not Java. They are different languages." But the reply below absolutely murders with precision: "Java is to JavaScript as Car is to Carpet." That analogy is devastatingly accurate. Despite sharing part of their name, these languages have about as much in common as a vehicle and floor covering. The naming confusion has been trolling newbie developers since 1995 when Netscape thought "hey, Java's hot right now, let's name our scripting language to sound similar for marketing!" 6412 upvotes for stating the obvious vs 1301 for the perfect analogy? The real bug is in the voting algorithm.

When Your Repo Name Becomes A Comedy Goldmine

When Your Repo Name Becomes A Comedy Goldmine
When your GitHub repo name creates a comedy goldmine without even trying. This developer's project "ANUS" has spawned the most gloriously inappropriate issue titles in open source history. "ANUS is too tight, needs LUBE" and "Add penetration tests" aren't bugs—they're features of accidental innuendo. The best part? These are legitimate technical requests with completely innocent intentions that sound absolutely filthy out of context. Naming your repo is truly the most consequential decision a developer will ever make.

CPP But From Chinese Communist

CPP But From Chinese Communist
A classic case of acronym confusion with geopolitical flavor. On the left, we have actual PHP code (not C++) with error checking and config loading. On the right, we have "CPP" (C Plus Plus) at the top and "CCP" (Chinese Communist Party) at the bottom. The joke is that they sound similar but are drastically different entities - one builds software, the other builds... well, a different kind of system. Developers who confuse these two should expect runtime errors of the political variety.

Next Nest Nuxt: The JavaScript Name Game

Next Nest Nuxt: The JavaScript Name Game
The JavaScript framework naming convention has officially reached peak confusion. First you're excited about Next.js, thinking you're cutting edge. Then suddenly everyone's talking about Nest.js and you have to pretend you knew the difference all along. By the time you figure that out, Nuxt.js appears and you're completely lost... wait, is it pronounced "nuxt" or "nuked"? And just when you thought you understood, you realize there's ANOTHER framework with practically the same name. At this point, I'm convinced framework creators are just hitting random keys near 'n' on the keyboard and adding ".js" to whatever comes out.

If The Variable Is Constant, Why Is It A Variable?

If The Variable Is Constant, Why Is It A Variable?
The existential crisis every developer faces at 2 AM while debugging. We name something a "variable" and then immediately declare it as "const" or "final" or "readonly" - essentially telling it not to vary. The cognitive dissonance is real! It's like naming your pet rock "Runner" or your cactus "Cuddles." No wonder our code gets confused and throws exceptions - we've been gaslighting our variables this whole time!

How To Name Variables (Or How To Destroy A Codebase With One Rebrand)

How To Name Variables (Or How To Destroy A Codebase With One Rebrand)
The perfect documentation of programmer naming hell. When Twitter rebranded to "X," some poor dev somewhere had to refactor thousands of variables from sensible names like "tweet" to... "x"? And what's the verb now? "X-ing"? This is what happens when marketing decisions crash into code bases. Somewhere, a senior developer is drinking straight from the bottle while staring at search-and-replace results that broke 47 unit tests.