Programmers Trying To Learn Be Like

Oh. My. GOD. The existential crisis of our generation in TWO FRAMES?! 💀 First he's like "I don't care if AI wins over programmers" acting all tough and unbothered. Then BOOM—the punchline hits: "I just need FAANG to lose." It's the tech industry's villain origin story! Doesn't care about the robot apocalypse as long as those Silicon Valley giants get taken down with us. The PETTINESS! The DRAMA! The absolute CHAOS of prioritizing corporate revenge over humanity's survival! We're not just coding anymore, we're picking sides in the tech civil war. And honestly? Mood.

Oh, how the times have changed! In 2020, we were writing our own isOdd() function with a cascade of if statements like absolute savages. Fast forward to 2025, and we're just outsourcing our brain cells to OpenAI's API. Sure, the 2020 approach was inefficient and borderline ridiculous (just use num % 2 !== 0 , you monsters!), but at least it didn't cost $0.002 per API call. Progress? Maybe. But our wallets are definitely feeling the difference between "free but stupid" and "smart but expensive." The real tragedy is that somewhere out there, a junior dev is actually implementing this in production right now.

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The corporate-to-English dictionary nobody asked for but everyone needs. After 15 years in this industry, I've developed a finely-tuned BS detector for job listings. "Cutting edge technology" just means you'll be using React like literally everyone else. And that "fast-paced environment"? Translation: your hair will be on fire while management keeps asking why you're not coding faster. My personal favorite is "urgent need" – code for "our last developer rage-quit and left zero documentation." The whole "rockstar developer" thing is particularly rich... sure, I'd love to work 80-hour weeks for the same pay as 40! And don't get me started on "self-starter" which really means "we have absolutely no idea what we're doing, but we'll blame you when it fails." Print this out and keep it next to your desk for the next time you're job hunting. You'll need it to decode what you're actually signing up for.

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Content Let me get this straight. You think Agile's onty purpose Is to lustity had project management? itis. And i'm tired of pretending it is not.