I'm So Sorry Seniors

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The five stages of developer grief happen in approximately 5 minutes flat. First comes the euphoria—arms raised, dopamine flowing, convinced you're about to build the next billion-dollar unicorn. Then reality strikes faster than a compiler error on line 1. Suddenly you're staring into the void, questioning your career choices and wondering if it's too late to become a professional dog walker. The gap between "I'm a coding genius with revolutionary ideas" and "I can't figure out why this basic function returns undefined" is approximately 300 seconds. It's almost impressive how quickly we go from tech visionary to existential crisis.

Ah, the classic "npm post-install job hunt" saga! The maintainer of core-js (a critical library that half the internet depends on) is literally begging for financial support and a job in the terminal output every time someone installs his package. Fast forward to GitHub where someone opened an issue asking if he ever found employment, only to discover that years later, he's still jobless... and possibly in prison? Nothing says "sustainable open source" quite like maintaining code that powers billions of dollars of tech while simultaneously being unemployed and incarcerated. The real 404 error was the career opportunities that never loaded.

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Content REDDIT: OMG LOOK AT THIS GUY'S SHITTY CODE! WHAT A SHITTY PROGRAMMER!! XD XD OPENSOURCE DEV: FUCK THIS, I'M DONE WITH OPEN SOURCE REDDIT: