Million Dollar TLD Dreams

Kid writes to Santa: "Dear Santa I want to create an operating system using HTML." Santa's immediate reaction is to sneak in and smother the child with a pillow. Mercy killing. Some crimes against computer science can't be forgiven. Next he'll be asking for a database built with CSS.

Ah, the classic "fix" that would make security engineers have a collective aneurysm! Instead of updating code to use the recommended Object.assign() method, this genius just downgraded their Node version to make the deprecation warning disappear. It's like fixing a check engine light by removing the bulb. Problem solved... technically? The six people who thumbs-upped this solution are probably the same folks who "fix" memory leaks by rebooting their server every night.

That thousand-yard stare when you've just spent hours debugging someone's ChatGPT-generated WordPress PHP abomination. The code technically "works" but violates every coding standard known to mankind. You've fixed it, but at what cost? Your soul? Your sanity? Both? This is the face of a developer who just discovered 17 nested if statements and a function named "do_the_thing_please_work()" with 300 lines of uncommented spaghetti code. The war flashbacks are real.

The calm software engineer enjoying his lunch while chaos erupts in the background is the most accurate depiction of job security I've ever seen. While Jira (blue diamond), XState (X logo), Docker (whale), and Webpack (green logo) battle it out in a JavaScript framework death match, our protagonist knows he's the only one who understands the legacy codebase with 15 years of technical debt. The frameworks come and go, but the engineer who wrote that undocumented spaghetti code that somehow keeps the entire company afloat? Absolutely irreplaceable.

Reddit's tab proudly announcing it's devouring 1.5 GB of RAM like it's a lightweight achievement. Meanwhile, your computer is silently screaming as Reddit joins Chrome in the "let's hoard all system resources" competition. The real web development flex isn't making something efficient—it's making users upgrade their hardware to scroll through cat pictures and programming jokes.

The revolutionary war for image formats rages on! Front-end developers and designers everywhere are channeling their inner Patrick Henry with this passionate declaration against WebP. Google's "superior" image format might offer better compression, but at what cost? File compatibility issues, inconsistent browser support, and that moment when you need to quickly edit an image but your design software chokes on the format. The JPG loyalists stand firm—they'd rather sacrifice a few kilobytes than surrender their workflow sanity. Sure, WebP might be 26% smaller, but so is my patience when trying to work with these files.