How To Get A Job

The brutal hierarchy of job hunting in tech, ranked by actual effectiveness. Nepotism reigns supreme at S+ tier because nothing beats having daddy dial up the hiring manager directly. One tier down, knowing someone who knows someone still gets you in the door faster than your pristine resume ever will. Then there's the "come work with me" referral from a current employee, which is basically a golden ticket. Furry conventions somehow rank higher than actual recruiters, which is honestly fair because at least you're making genuine connections there. Recruiters sit in C tier doing their best. And then, occupying the absolute bottom of the barrel in F tier, we have LinkedIn, Indeed, Glassdoor, ZipRecruiter, Monster, and SimplyHired—where your application goes to die in a black hole alongside 847 other candidates, never to be seen by human eyes.