recruiters Memes

Recruiters Be Like
Databases Webdev Programming Frontend
1 day ago 71.8K views 0 shares
Recruiters Be Like
Imagine trying to connect to a database with CSS, the language responsible for making buttons pretty and text centered. That's like trying to open a door with a banana peel. Tech recruiters are infamous for writing job descriptions that combine technologies with the coherence of a toddler playing tech buzzword bingo. "Must have 10 years experience in a framework released last month" is practically a recruiting tradition at this point. Next week they'll be looking for someone who can "deploy microservices using Microsoft Paint" or "debug kernel issues with HTML comments."

Green Squares = Instant Wealth
Git Webdev Devops Programming
6 days ago 68.9K views 0 shares
Green Squares = Instant Wealth
Ah yes, the sacred GitHub contribution chart—where quantity trumps quality. This person has 10,306 commits in a year, which is roughly 28 commits every single day . Either they're a coding superhuman or they've discovered the ancient art of git commit -m "fix typo" && git push automation. Recruiters see green squares and immediately think "coding genius" instead of "probable bot owner." The real skill here isn't programming—it's convincing people that updating README files 10,000 times is worth half a million dollars. And they say AI is coming for our jobs...

Queue The Crickets
Agile Programming
7 days ago 62.4K views 0 shares
Queue The Crickets
The modern developer's immunity to recruiter spam has reached legendary status. After years of "Hi {first_name}" messages and "exciting opportunities" that pay in exposure and free snacks, we've evolved strict filtering criteria. Six figures? Remote work? No agile ceremonies where I pretend to care about story points? Suddenly the recruiter has our attention. It's not that we're difficult—we've just been burned enough times to know exactly what we want. That awkward silence when the recruiter realizes they can't offer any of those things? Priceless. Almost as valuable as the 4 hours of my life I'll never get back from that "quick technical chat" that turned into implementing a binary tree from scratch.

The Impossible Job Requirements Paradox
Programming Webdev
10 days ago 67.6K views 0 shares
The Impossible Job Requirements Paradox
Every dev job listing in existence: "Entry-level position. Requirements: Must have been coding since the womb." The tech industry's impossible math strikes again! The classic paradox where companies want you to be simultaneously young enough to work for peanuts but experienced enough to have built half the internet. Next they'll ask for your GitHub contributions from preschool. I've seen seniors with less experience requirements than some "junior" positions these days.

Dream Job Turned Nightmare
Javascript Webdev Programming Java
20 days ago 76.5K views 0 shares
Dream Job Turned Nightmare
When the recruiter hits you with that classic bait-and-switch. That moment of pure joy seeing "high paying, remote job" with "latest version of Java" only to have your soul crushed by that tiny "...script" reveal. The emotional rollercoaster from "I can finally pay off my student loans" to "I'm about to debug 10,000 lines of spaghetti code written by 12 different interns" in 0.5 seconds flat. The recruiter probably thinks they're being clever too. "Technically I didn't lie!" Yeah, and technically I'm about to technically ghost this interview.

Python Developer (Java)
Java Programming Python Backend
21 days ago 66.4K views 0 shares
Python Developer (Java)
Ah, the classic Indian tech job listing paradox! What we have here is the digital equivalent of ordering a pepperoni pizza but writing "vegan" in parentheses. This job posting is looking for a "Python Developer (Java)" in Bangalore - the Silicon Valley of India - which is like asking for someone who can simultaneously be a cat and a dog. Every seasoned developer has seen these recruiter masterpieces where they just throw programming languages into a blender. After 15 years in the industry, I can confirm this is how you end up with developers who put "proficient in Python, Java, C++, Rust, Haskell, COBOL, and interpretive dance" on their resumes. Translation: "We want someone who knows Python but will eventually force them to maintain our legacy Java codebase that nobody wants to touch."

Recruiters Be Like
Databases Programming Frontend
23 days ago 129.2K views 0 shares
Recruiters Be Like
OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of these recruiters! 💅 They're out here asking for candidates to "establish a database connection using CSS" which is like asking someone to bake a cake using a hammer! HONEY, CSS is for styling webpages and making things pretty, not connecting to databases! That's what SQL, MongoDB, or literally ANY database language is for! The tech recruiting world is a CIRCUS and we're all just clowns sending our resumes into the void! 🎪

Recruiters Know What They Need
Programming Devops React Kubernetes Javascript
1 month ago 107.3K views 0 shares
Recruiters Know What They Need
Job listings these days are basically a tech buzzword bingo card. Left side: backend technologies like Postgres, Kafka, Kubernetes. Right side: frontend stack with React, Vue, and Tailwind. And recruiters? They want you to be an expert in all of it . The painful truth every developer knows: companies post "entry-level" positions requiring mastery of 15 different technologies, 8 years of experience, and probably the ability to refactor legacy code while blindfolded. Meanwhile, the actual job is maintaining a CRUD app from 2012. The cherry on top? The salary is "competitive" – which translates to "we'll pay you half what you're worth but hey, we have free snacks in the break room!"

Recruiters After Seeing Senior Dev Resume
Programming
1 month ago 19.4K views 0 shares
recruitersAfterSeeingSeniorDevResume | recruiters-memes, recruit-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content SO, I CAME ACROSS YOUR RESUME I DO APOLOGISE

Not Easyto Findthatmany People
Javascript AWS php Python Java
1 month ago 207.0K views 0 shares
notEasytoFindthatmanyPeople | developer-memes, php-memes, java-memes, python-memes, stack-memes, aws-memes, react-memes, git-memes, sql-memes, angular-memes, mongodb-memes, postgresql-memes, docker-memes, recruiters-memes, recruit-memes, mongo-memes, postgres-memes, IT-memes, redis-memes, mac-memes, kubernetes-memes, twitter-memes, retweet-memes, cs-memes, full stack-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
[text] F Mayank Joshi dermayank Dear recruiters if you are looking for Java Python PHP React Angular PostgreSQL Redis MongoDB AWS S3 EC2 ECS EKS nix system administration Git and Cl with TDD Docker Kubernetes Thats not a Full Stack Developer Thats an entire IT department 352 PM 29 Jun 21 Twitter for Mac 1403 Retweets 117 Quote Tweets 5532 Likes

Not Easy To Find That Many People
Javascript AWS StackOverflow Linux Databases
3 months ago 92.3K views 0 shares
notEasyToFindThatManyPeople | developer-memes, stack-memes, aws-memes, react-memes, git-memes, sql-memes, angular-memes, mongodb-memes, postgresql-memes, recruiters-memes, recruit-memes, mongo-memes, postgres-memes, IT-memes, redis-memes, mac-memes, twitter-memes, retweet-memes, cs-memes, full stack-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Mayank Joshi dermayank Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS - nix system administration - Git and CI with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer That's an entire IT department 3:52 PM 29 Jun 21 Twitter for Mac 1,403 Retweets 117 Quote Tweets 5,532 Likes 17 :

Gotta catch 'em all
Javascript Python Java Linux Frontend
4 months ago 93.1K views 0 shares
Gotta catch 'em all | javascript-memes, java-memes, python-memes, catch-memes, git-memes, pandas-memes, scala-memes, numpy-memes, tensorflow-memes, oop-memes, flask-memes, hadoop-memes, recruiters-memes, recruit-memes, linkedin-memes, bootstrap-memes, c#-memes, spark-memes, keras-memes, jupyter-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content my linkedin profile R, python, javascript, shiny, dplyr, purrr, ditto, ggplot, d3, canvas, spark, sawk, pyspark, sparkly, lodash, lazy, bootstrap, jupyter, vulpix, git, flask, numpy, pandas, feebas, scikit, pm, bayes, h2o.ai, sparkling-water, tensorflow, keras, onyx, ekans, hadoop, scala, unity, metapod, gc, cct, krebase, neo4j, hadoop. I typically ask recruiters to point out which of these are pokemon.