Nepotism Memes

You can have a CV that makes senior engineers weep with envy, relevant experience that spans multiple tech stacks, interview skills sharp enough to slice through behavioral questions, a portfolio that would make Dribbble jealous, and a Master's degree gathering dust on your wall. But none of that matters when someone's cousin's roommate who knows HTML and "some JavaScript" gets the job because they play golf with the CTO. Nepotism and referrals trump merit since the dawn of corporate time. Your LeetCode grind? Irrelevant. Your GitHub stars? Meaningless. Your ability to explain the difference between a promise and a callback? Who cares when Brad from accounting vouched for his nephew. The real tech stack: LinkedIn + networking events + knowing someone who knows someone. Welcome to the industry.

The tech industry's dirty little secret: your perfectly crafted resume with a master's degree, relevant experience, and flawless portfolio is no match for Bob from accounting's cousin who "knows someone." Nothing like watching six years of education and experience get outgunned by a single Slack message from an internal referral. The tech hiring meritocracy is just nepotism wearing a hoodie.

The modern job hunt, visualized in all its soul-crushing glory! Out of 6 applications, 5 interviews, and what happened? 2 rejections, 1 call from the police (background check gone wrong?), and the only acceptance came from... wait for it... the company where Dad is the owner. Meritocracy at its finest! Nothing says "I earned this on my own" like having your parent's name on the building. Silicon Valley dream achieved through the ancient technology of nepotism.

BEHOLD! The tech industry's greatest cheat code! 🎮 You can spend YEARS perfecting your CV, collecting degrees like Pokémon cards, and building a portfolio so beautiful it would make Michelangelo weep... OR you can just know Dave from accounting who will slide your resume to the hiring manager while they're both microwaving fish in the break room. THE AUDACITY! The sheer INJUSTICE of watching someone with "a buddy that works at the company" absolutely DEMOLISH your meticulously crafted career preparation! Referrals are the tech industry's version of using a Game Genie while the rest of us are button-mashing through the application tracking system like PEASANTS! 💀

Tech success recipe: 4:30 AM wakeups, cold showers, gratitude journals, meditation, and—plot twist—having a dad who owns the company. Turns out the secret "hustle" ingredient was nepotism all along. Next week on LinkedIn: How I became CEO by drinking raw eggs and inheriting generational wealth.